Marita Covarrubias

Defining an adult - question

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:13:38 GMT

This is for something that I’m writing:

Let’s say that a man (21+ y.o.) has ‘amnesia’: His language capabilities are intact, he can still win a game of Trivia, can operate a computer and play the piano – BUT his episodic memory is gone for good. He doesn’t know who he is, has absolutely no recollection of any previous experiences, events or people. 100% clean slate.

Many people say that it’s the experience the shapes the person – what you’ve been through throughout your life has made you into what you are.

According to this, once that man suffers said amnesia, he’s reduced, in many ways, to an infant. Would you consider that person to be an adult? Would you allow him to vote, drink alcohol, have sex?

TW fic: Before the Fall (Jack/Ianto, adult)

Thu, 20 Aug 2009 22:24:57 GMT

Title: Before the Fall
Word count: ~23,000
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen, Lois. Cameo by the Doctor and a few OCs.
Spoilers: Seasons 1-3.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Rating: Adult (NC-17) for sex. Twice!
Warnings: PLOT. Lots of it. Underage sex, with one party being 16 and the other waaaay older. Angst. Implied future character death (sort of...).

Note: This is a post CoE curtains!fic that follows my fix-it fic Get Your Bearings, which you should read before this one if you want to know how things got to where they are.

Summary: When Ianto goes missing under suspicious circumstances, Jack discovers that the path to finding him goes through his lover’s mysterious past. The truths he uncovers, however, may end up destroying both of them. (Dramatic, eh?) Takes place a few months after Get Your Bearings.

Thanks: Phew. Can’t believe this is finally done. It only took forever. I had to do serious revisions following CoE in addition to writing a fix-it prequel so that this story won’t turn into an AU. andreth47 did the original beta on this story, and did it brilliantly. Without her encouraging comments I’m not sure I would have bothered looking at it after CoE. The revised version was edited by the awesome nanfreak , and her beta-fu made this story way better than it used to be.

Prologue

Bristol, September 15, 1999

The music inside the club is loud enough to penetrate every corner of his mind, and for a little while there’s no more strangeness. The voices that have been haunting him for months are quiet, or perhaps just temporarily drowned out by the rhythmic beat of the bass.

His bones are vibrating with it.

He stays inside almost until closure, and when he finally steps out into the clean, crisp air of pre- dawn, the quiet feels almost deafening. The club’s bouncer gives him a strange look, but Ianto ignores him. He knows the only reason they let him in without an ID is that he looks older than his sixteen years. He digs through his coat pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. The first puff fails to provide the anticipated illusion of warmth.

His fever must be back.

A shiver runs through him, as if to confirm his suspicions. He curses and starts walking fast down the street. It’s still completely dark out, and he makes a conscious effort not to look into alleys and shadowed areas. He doesn’t need these distractions now, of false images, false sounds. He just needs to get home. Well… not home.

He thinks of the small, dank room he’s been sleeping in for the past week, lets his mind wander to his home in Newport. His sister, left by herself. She’s probably asleep now, safely tucked in her bed.

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of feet scraping on pavement behind him. He twists around quickly, heart racing, but the street is completely deserted. Just his mind playing tricks on him. Again.

He’s been careful, he reminds himself. There’s no way Torchwood could have found him.

He turns into the next street and his steps falter a little as he notices movement in the corner of his eye. He swallows and quickens his pace. It’s just his imagination. It has to be.

He takes another drag of the fag and as he flicks it away he matter-of-factly glances over his shoulder.

There. A shadow.

Fuck.

How did they find him?

Why weren’t they just swooping in? There’s no one around. No one to see.

He shivers again, but this time it’s as much from fear as it is from the fever. His vision blurs, and he blinks furiously.

Bollocks. Not now.

He rounds the next corner and stops, plastering his back against the wall, then slowly reaches into his back pocket and removes his small flip knife.

It only takes another minute. The steps, more distinct now, grow closer and closer, and then a single shadow appears. He moves quickly, the element of surprise giving him the advantage, and within a second has the man’s back flush against the wall with the knife pressed against his neck.

After an initial grunt of surprise, the man winces. “Hi, Ianto. Also, ouch.”

Ianto frowns, but doesn’t let up. “Who the fuck are you, and why are you following me?”

The other man shifts a little, and somehow manages to extend out a hand. “Captain Jack Harkness.”

Continue >>

TW Fic: Get Your Bearings (Jack/Ianto, adult)

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 13:53:14 GMT

Title: Get Your Bearings
Word count: ~ 6,000
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers: TW CoE
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Thanks: to sulla_ for encouragement, very helpful tips and corrections, and to blackbird_song for her brilliant, incredible beta-fu.

Summary: The most plausible fix I could come up with. It's hardly angst free, but there's Coat!Porn and quite possibly the happiest ending I've ever written.

“Come on, now. It’s time to take Jack home, don’t do this.”

The lights flicker.

“If you don’t tell me what’s wrong then how am I supposed to know how to fix it?!” the Doctor asks in exasperation.

The TARDIS just hums quietly.

“Maybe she doesn’t want me to go,” Jack jokes.

The Doctor glances at him distractedly, then back at the ship’s monitor. “Not everything is about you, Captain. I don’t think she’s reacting to you — not directly, anyway.”

Jack slides a hand up a smooth, glowing column, frowning. “Has she ever behaved this way before?” he asks.

The Doctor presses a few buttons, turns a handle, and looks at the small screen again. “There’s an anomaly. Something is… wrong in the space-time continuum. I think she’s trying to correct it, but something is not quite working. Perhaps--” He turns another handle, and the ship lurches. “--Whoa, there…”

They both hold on tight as the shaking goes on. “What is she doing?” Jack yells.

The Doctor’s eyes widen. “She’s…” There’s a loud, jarring bang as the TARDIS lands, and the shaking stops. “Oh…” the Doctor says, sounding a little perplexed. “She’s refuelling, apparently.”

Jack lets go of the column and comes closer. He glances at the screen, displaying their new landing spot, and is a little thrown, at first, by the familiar and unmarred view of Cardiff bay. When he sees the date on the monitor, the reason becomes clear.

He swallows. “How long will this take?” he asks hoarsely.

The Doctor glances at him from the corner of his eye. “About two hours.”

Jack sighs, rubs his face.

“You shouldn’t worry, she chose a safe time point. According to these readings, the other you is in London at the moment.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Jack says. “I had a meeting with UNIT that day.”

“Are you worried that your team might--”

Jack shakes his head. “No, they won’t bother us. They have their instructions — even if they do pick up that we’re here, they won’t approach.”

The Doctor purses his lips, quiet for a long moment. “October the fifteenth. That’s…”

“About a week before the 456 showed up,” Jack finishes for him quietly.

The Doctor nods, then looks at Jack levelly. “If you want to go down there for a bit, just to say hello…”

One corner of Jack’s mouth twitches upwards. “Oh, so you trust me now, not to mess up the timeline?”

The Doctor smiles a little, and continues to hold Jack’s gaze. Jack can tell he’s thinking over everything they’ve been through in the last two months. Finally, the Doctor says simply, “I do, Jack”

Jack huffs with amusement, partly to cover up how much the Doctor’s admission has moved him. “Well, I appreciate it, but going in there is the last thing I need. I think I’m just going to go rest my eyes for a bit,” he says, and turns towards the back hallway of the ship.

The Doctor calling his name stops him in his tracks, but he doesn’t turn around. “It may help, seeing him again. Getting some kind of closure,” the Doctor offers gently.

Jack takes a shuddering breath. “It won’t. I… did my grieving, Doctor. There’s really no need to re-open old wounds.”

“Maybe not, but…” the Doctor trails off, waiting. After a moment, Jack turns around and looks at him curiously. “The counter shows two hours until we’re done refuelling. Normally it doesn’t take her more than five minutes.”

Jack frowns. “What are you saying? You think… she’s doing this on purpose?” Jack asks, incredulous.

As if on cue, the ship’s doors swing open of their own accord.

The Doctor raises an eyebrow pointedly.

***

Ianto puts down the book he’s been reading as his mobile goes off. He picks it up from the desk, glances at the caller ID and then flips it open. “How’s the house-hunting?” he asks.

“Not too exciting. Seen two so far but I doubt they’ll work out. We have another meeting with an estate agent in half an hour,” Gwen sounds more cheerful than usual. “Anything interesting going on?”

Ianto sighs. “TARDIS making a pit stop.”

“You’re kidding!” Gwen exclaims. “Jack will be livid, the Doctor showing up just when he’s away for the day.”

Ianto shrugs. “It’ll probably be gone in a few minutes. We can save ourselves a grumpy Jack by just ‘forgetting’ to mention it.”

“I suppose. Although if he somehow finds out and throws a fit I’m telling him it was your idea.”

Ianto rolls his eyes. “Right, then. Grumpy Jack. We’ll live with it.”

He can hear the smile in her voice when she answers, “I’m sure you’ll find a way to take his mind off it. Anyway, I just wanted to check in. If everything stays quiet I don’t think I’ll be coming in today, but call if anything comes up, yeah?”

“Sure. Bye, Gwen.” Ianto hangs up, smiling.

The entry alarm goes off, and his eyebrows rise in surprise as the cog door rolls open and Jack walks in.

“Jack? Aren’t you supposed to be in London?” Ianto asks, standing up.

Jack stops just past the entrance and stares at him somewhat strangely. “I am in London,” he says.

There is something about him that’s not quite right, but Ianto can’t put his finger on it. He frowns and then glances at the monitor, still registering the TARDIS up on the Plas. He looks back to Jack sharply. “You came with the Doctor,” he says, a little startled.

Jack nods slowly. “We’re… here for a couple of hours, so I thought I’d stop and say hi.” The smile on Jack’s face doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and his voice is a little… off.

Ianto frowns. “Is that… uh… allowed? We won’t cause a paradox or something?”

“It’s fine. Today is a slow day, if memory serves. I’m pretty sure the timeline will survive us having lunch together, as long as you don’t mention it to anyone,” Jack says, finally taking the stairs down and coming closer.

Ianto nods slowly. “’If memory serves’… I take it you’re a future version, then?”

Jack smiles tightly. “I… can’t answer that,” he says somewhat apologetically. His expression turns a bit frustrated. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite think this through… there are a lot of subjects that are… off limits.”

“It’s fine,” Ianto says dismissively, then adds, barely avoiding rolling his eyes, “not that different from usual, actually.”

Something resembling a wince crosses Jack’s face, and Ianto pauses, frowning. More carefully, he asks, “What would you like for lunch, then?”

Jack hesitates, looking a little taken aback. “I… “ He pauses, swallows. “Lunch, right. To tell you the truth, I’m not actually hungry.”

Ianto stares at him for a few moments, trying to read his expression, to make sense of the way Jack is looking at him. He has a niggling feeling that he’s missing something important. Finally, he clears his throat and says, “I can think of some other ways to fill a couple of hours, which won’t involve too much talking.”

***

Jack has been dreaming about this often in the past months.

It was hard, at first, waking up afterwards — remembering reality, and feeling the loss all over again. But with time, the dreams have turned into a sort of comfort. He’d cling to their last remnants for as long as he could after waking up, basking in the blurry images.

Only now he realizes how much he’d forgotten; all the details that even the most vivid dreams could not quite recapture. Ianto’s warmth, his taste, his solidness against Jack’s body. The gentle vibrations deep in his chest as he moans softly into Jack’s mouth.

Oh, how he wishes now for perfect recall. An eidetic memory, anything, really, that will allow him to keep a snapshot of this very moment, the details intact — never fading.

He pulls back from the kiss, breathing hard, and lets his eyes roam over Ianto’s face, drinking him in, memorizing. They’re still standing, fully dressed in his tiny quarters, and Jack’s back is pressed uncomfortably against the ladder. He doesn’t care.

“It’s not the same coat... I can tell,” Ianto murmurs, hands running over the fabric lightly. “Where did you find a new one?”

Jack tries to smile, thinking of one missed opportunity he can make up for, at least. “You found it for me, of course. Want me to keep it on?” he offers.

Ianto grins at him, eyes glinting in the dim lighting of the room, and replies with a breathy “Yes, please.”

Jack kisses him again, deeper this time, more desperate. He pulls at Ianto’s clothes, undoing buttons with shaky fingers.

Ianto seems to feel some of his urgency, and for once lets the clothes fall to a heap on the floor, unconcerned.

Jack pushes him back until the back of his knees hit the bed and he sits heavily down. Ianto spreads his legs so that Jack can stand between them and starts working on Jack’s belt. Jack helps him, unbuttoning his shirt and then unclasping his braces from the waistband as Ianto proceeds to undo the fastening of his trousers. Within seconds Ianto has Jack’s cock out, and without preliminaries takes him into his mouth.

Moist, enveloping heat, and Jack cries out hoarsely, barely keeping himself from shoving his hips forward. Ianto pulls back a little, glancing up, then slowly, deliberately, takes him down to the root.

“God, Ianto…” Jack whispers, breath hitching when Ianto swallows around the head of his cock. He looks down at him in appreciation, fighting to keep his eyes opened, then reaches down to run a hand gently through Ianto’s hair. He slides it further down, brushing his knuckles and thumb across Ianto’s cheek and moist lips stretched tight around his cock.

Ianto pulls back again, swiping his tongue around the head and across the slit, and Jack has to clench his teeth in an effort to keep from coming right there. He cups Ianto’s cheek in his hand and pushes him back gently. “Lie back,” he urges.

Ianto wipes his mouth and nods, then turns to settle back against the pillows. Jack kicks off his shoes then steps out of his trousers and briefs. He climbs onto the bed and straddles Ianto’s hips, his coat falling around them and across Ianto’s thighs.

Ianto runs his hands up Jack’s thighs, then keeps one hand on Jack’s hip and reaches for the coat with the other.

Jack looks down, momentarily confused before he realizes what Ianto is searching for in his inner pocket.

Which, with the exception of lint, has been empty for a long, long time.

“Sorry…” He tries to smile. “All out. Better try in there,” he says, gesturing to the bedside table.

Ianto’s eyebrows rise in surprise, but he doesn’t say anything as he reaches to open the drawer to his right.

Jack takes the bottle from him and pours some slick into his palm, then takes hold of Ianto’s cock, coating him with long, sure strokes. Ianto pushes into his fist, moaning in pleasure, and tightens his hold on Jack’s hips.

There’s so much Jack wants to do...

He wants to take Ianto’s cock into himself, and ride him for hours. He wants to fuck him open, with his tongue, his fingers, his cock, and hear those gorgeous, desperate sounds Ianto makes whenever Jack’s been keeping him on the edge for too long.

He wants to sleep with him.

Just sleep—feel Ianto’s warm skin pressed against his side, hear those deep, even breaths, and lay his head on Ianto’s chest, just to listen to the steady heartbeats for a while.

He knows he can’t.

Knows there’s no time, and that each heartbeat would just sound like a ticking clock to him, now.

That’s when the possibilities hit him — like a blow to the stomach, their futility momentarily pushed down. He can tell Ianto how to fix it all; make sure everyone ends up alive and well. Or he can just take Ianto back with him. Back to the TARDIS and away from all this.

He allows himself the fantasy for all of two seconds before letting go of it completely. He doesn’t even need to envision the Doctor chiding him for his careless thinking. He knows the drill by now, has accepted it as wholly as he has his own existence.

He won’t tell Ianto he loves him.

Not now, because Ianto is not stupid, and such an admission would be as good as telling him the whole story.

Jack takes a deep breath and moves up Ianto’s body, rising to his knees. The head of Ianto’s cock is hard and slick where Jack holds it against his entrance, and he closes his eyes as he sinks down slowly. It’s been a long time, and with no preparation it hurts.

Jack revels in it, knowing he’ll be feeling it tomorrow—his own perverse little souvenir.

“Easy...” Ianto murmurs softly, sliding his hands up Jack’s sides, under his shirt.

When Jack opens his eyes and sees Ianto’s flushed face, strained with intense pleasure, and his eyes — impossibly dark, staring at Jack with a mixture of wonder and gratitude—something in his chest unclenches a little.

He moves then, pulling up and then sinking down again, feeling Ianto jerking up to meet him on the downstroke. He repeats the motion, and the inside of his coat brushes against his bare backside at the same time that Ianto’s cock brushes against his prostate. The sensation is exquisite, making his skin tingle and sending pulses of heat and pleasure to his cock.

Jack arches his back and groans, allowing Ianto to guide his movements with his hands and his hips until they fall into a slow, steady rhythm of deep, hard thrusts. His hand instinctively goes down to his cock, but Ianto intercepts, wrapping his fingers around Jack’s wrist and pulling it towards his face.

“Hold on...” Ianto gasps, rubbing his cheek, then his lips against Jack’s palm. He takes Jack’s fore and middle fingers into his mouth, sucking on them eagerly.

Somehow, the wet, hot slide of his tongue across the pads of Jack’s fingers feels as intimate to Jack as Ianto’s cock stroking inside him. He lets out a long, breathy moan and starts fucking Ianto’s mouth with his fingers, matching the movements of his hand to the rise and fall of his hips as he continues riding him.

Ianto closes his eyes, his breaths coming more laboured now. A few more seconds and he pulls his mouth off Jack’s fingers, gasping, and guides Jack’s hand to his cock. “Now,” he says in a low growl. Ianto clenches both hands in the edges of Jack’s coat, and uses it to pull Jack down to meet his every upward thrust.

Jack throws his head back, mouth open and gasping, as he gives himself up completely to the harsh rhythm. He jerks himself fast, Ianto’s saliva on his fingers mixing with his own precome and creating perfect friction around his aching cock.

Ianto’s cock pulses inside him, and Jack’s orgasm hits with blinding intensity, wrenching a strangled cry from deep in his chest and making everything white out for a few blissful moments.

When he’s coming down from the high everything feels too raw, too hot, the coat too heavy and constricting on his shoulders. He shrugs it off, shirt included, with a few quick movements, letting them fall off the bed and onto the floor. Ianto’s tugging him down and he goes readily, shifting slightly to the side so he’s half-draped over Ianto but not crushing him. He rests his head on Ianto’s shoulder and closes his eyes, enjoying the relaxed, familiar embrace as they both catch their breaths.

“Good?” Jack asks quietly.

For a few moments there’s no response, just Ianto’s gradually slowing breathing. Ianto’s arm, draped across his waist, tightens fractionally before he speaks. “I have a feeling that if I say ‘I could die happy right now’ it would more or less kill the afterglow,” he says evenly.

Jack cannot help tensing up at the words. Slowly, he pulls away and glances up at Ianto’s face.

Ianto watches him with an unreadable expression. “Sorry, it was hard to miss... You had my cock in your hand and you looked like you were taking a trip down memory lane.”

His tone is gentle, not accusatory, but it makes no difference. Jack feels like his heart is lodged somewhere in his throat. Slowly, he sits up, keeping his back to Ianto.

“I’m sorry...” he chokes out. “I should never have come here.”

“Jack...” Ianto’s hand is warm on his back. “Hey... come back here.”

But Jack can’t. Can’t turn around, can’t speak, can’t look at him.

Ianto sits up instead, keeping his hand in the middle of Jack’s back. “It’s alright,” he murmurs. “Not something I like to think about, but... It’s not like I don’t know what’s waiting, at the end of the line...”

Jack lets out a bark of mirthless laugh. “There’s knowing, and then there’s knowing.”

Slowly, Ianto withdraws his hand, leaving that spot in the middle of Jack’s back feeling cold and bereft. “How long... how long do I have?” Ianto asks quietly.

Jack can feel the blood draining from his face. He wants to throw up. He doesn’t dare speak, doesn’t think he could utter the words even if he wanted to. How can he possibly tell Ianto that he has a week left to live?

Something must show on his face, though, because Ianto looks as if he got his answer anyway. “Bloody hell...” he murmurs, a note of apprehension in his voice for the first time. He turns away from Jack, obviously trying to cover it up, regain some composure.

“Ianto...” Jack says, cursing inwardly at how defeated his voice sounds. But Ianto is already on his feet, starting to collect his clothes from the floor.

“I’m glad we made the most of it, then,” he says, trying to sound flippant. “Although I was really looking forward to seeing the new James Bond movie...”

Jack just looks at him sadly. He doesn’t know what to say. There’s nothing he can say. Nothing that would make this any better.

“So what, then?” Ianto asks, resignation tinged with bitterness in his tone. “You decided to drop by for a bit of nostalgia?”

Jack shakes his head and looks away. “The Doctor... he suggested that it might help me get... closure.”

Ianto finishes refastening his trousers, and pauses with his shirt clutched in his right hand. “Did it?” he asks simply.

“I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t want... this. And you can’t be allowed to—you’ll have to take retcon, now.”

Ianto nods, his eyes softening somewhat. “Yeah... I know,” he says. He shrugs into the shirt but leaves it unbuttoned, then turns to the ladder and starts climbing up.

Jack remains sitting for several more minutes before, with a sigh, he starts collecting his own clothes from the floor.

***

By the time Jack emerges from the hatch Ianto is sitting on the sofa in his office, nursing a glass of scotch. The safe is open, and the box of short-term amnesia pills is in the centre of the desk, still closed.

“I figured...” Ianto says slowly, not looking at Jack, “you’re due back from the meeting in a few hours. If you come in here and find me passed out you might get suspicious.”

Jack frowns. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. Trust Ianto to be the voice of reason even at times like this. He thinks back, trying to remember.

“You weren’t here,” he says hesitantly. “I got back from London early evening, but you were gone. I called you... you said you were running an errand. Then later that night I came over to your place—it must have been after midnight by then. You were asleep and I woke you up. I remember you were groggy, but I didn’t think too much of it at the time...”

Ianto nods. “I take the pill home with me. That would fit, I guess. What errand?”

“I really don’t know,” Jack replies with a shrug.

Ianto downs the rest of his scotch and leans his head against the back of the sofa. His eyes are half closed, and he’s staring at some spot on the wall to Jack’s right. “Were you there?” Ianto’s voice is a low, soft murmur.

Jack swallows. The images of their last moments together, of Ianto—slowly fading away in his arms, feel as if they’re branded into his brain—crystal clear and still horrifying.

“Until the end,” he rasps.

Ianto’s mouth twitches. “Aliens, right?”

“Aliens,” Jack echoes. Ianto looks like he wants to ask more, but can’t quite bring himself to form the questions. Jack saves him the trouble. “We were trying to do the right thing—stand up to them. Our hearts were in the right place, but we... weren’t ready.”

“How...?” Ianto starts, but trails off.

Jack shoves his hands into his coat pockets and looks at his feet. “We were using that old Torchwood holding facility in London as a temporary base, so we didn’t have the proper equipment or any effective weapons. You and me, we... stormed in there like a couple of cowboys...” He glances up to see Ianto smiling a little at that. “And the aliens... they... released a virus into the air. It all happened very fast.”

Ianto doesn’t ask him to continue. Doesn’t ask how the world had been saved yet again, and Jack is grateful. When he comes closer, Ianto makes room for him on the sofa, and when Jack sits down, Ianto takes his hand and interlaces their fingers.

They end up sitting together, shoulders touching lightly, fingers intertwined, staring at nothing.

It’s Ianto who finally breaks the silence. “I chose it, you know. This life... I choose it still, even knowing what’s to come. It was worth it—every single moment.”

Jack stares at him and finds himself once again speechless. Tears prickle behind his eyes, and he tries to fight them away, blinking rapidly. Deep in his chest, one last knot of grief loosens and melts, as he realizes that Ianto has just told him exactly what he needed to hear.

He won’t tell Ianto he loves him.

Not now, because in a few hours Ianto will forget, and it would be meaningless.

***

“You’ll never guess who just got a Nobel Prize in physics,” The Doctor says when Jack enters the TARDIS. He’s nose-deep inside today’s issue of the Guardian. “What took you so long?” He discards newspaper and stands up.

Jack frowns, closing the doors firmly behind him. “It’s been barely an hour and a half. How’s the refuelling going?”

“Oh, done ages ago,” the Doctor replies, then looks at the controls and shrugs. “Never were reliable, these things.” He turns a few handles and the TARDIS powers up and starts dematerializing. Jack comes closer to the controls, and after a moment the Doctor asks casually “Everything go alright?”

Jack shrugs, eyes on the control panel. “More or less. It wasn’t easy.” He clears his throat. “What’s the status on that anomaly?”

The Doctor smiles brilliantly. “It’s all gone. You know how it is with anomalies... they have a tendency to... correct themselves.”

Jack raises an eyebrow and stares at the Doctor somewhat suspiciously. “I’ll... take your word for it...”

The ship lands then, with a jarring thud, and Jack uncovers his vortex manipulator and glances at the display. “Not bad... Cardiff, one day after I left. You didn’t even give Gwen a chance to miss me.”

“Where will you go?”

“Torchwood has a storage facility a couple of blocks from here. Gwen had turned it into a temporary base. I’ll go see what she’s up to, see if I can help out.”

The Doctor smirks. “Is she the boss, now?”

Jack laughs. “Gwen? She’s always been the boss. I tried ordering her around but to tell you the truth she was humouring me on the good days and completely ignoring me on the bad ones”

“I can see why you like her so much.”

Jack smiles, and they share a companionable silence for a few seconds. “So, uh... until next time, right?”

The Doctor nods, and sighs when Jack comes closer and wraps him in a tight hug. “The Earth’s safety is in your hands again, Captain.”

***

Jack hasn’t been to the Torchwood warehouse in a long time, but he’s certain he’d never seen it looking this clean. The last rays of sunshine, penetrating the warehouse through windows that used to be covered with grime, cast a warm, orange glow on the walls. It almost feels homey. He can smell food and coffee, and hear talking as he walks further in. Rhys and Lois must be here, too.

Jack rounds the corner and enters the main room, now set up as an operations centre with an interconnected network of servers and monitors. They’re sitting in the far right corner, Gwen and Lois on an old-looking sofa set against the wall, and across from them, on a wooden chair...

Jack freezes on the spot, staring.

He must have made some kind of sound, because they all stop talking and turn to look in his direction.

“Jack!” Gwen calls out. She returns the chopsticks she’s been holding into the red take-out box that’s perched on her large, round belly, then leans forward and sets the box on the coffee table. “That was fast. Everything went well? You weren’t even gone twenty four hours.”

She seems happy to see him, rising to her feet slowly. But he’s no longer looking her, nor at Lois who’s standing up as well. His eyes are fixed on the third man in the room, who, by all accounts, should not be sitting in that chair.

He’d been smiling at Jack at first, but now the smile is gradually being replaced by a confused frown, no doubt mirroring Jack’s own. “Jack?” he asks, standing up and coming closer.

“What have you done...?” Jack says when he finally finds his voice.

That stops Ianto in his tracks.

“Jack...? What’s going on?” Gwen. She’s frowning at him as well.

Lois is looking from him, to Ianto, to Gwen, and looks equally confused.

“When... when were you expecting me back?” Jack asks, voice unsteady.

“You said you’d be away for a few days. We weren’t sure,” Lois answers.

“I did?”

“You don’t remember?” Ianto asks quietly.

Jack opens his mouth to answer, but ends up just shaking his head minutely. The only explanation he can think of is that somehow, he’d changed the timeline. Which would mean Ianto did not take the retcon, like he’d promised. Did not erase the CCTV evidence of Jack’s visit. Jack feels foolish now, for trusting that he would.

“What happened, October fifteenth?” Jack asks shakily.

“It’s April, Jack. What are you talking about?” Ianto asks, and Jack has to re-evaluate his initial assessment, because the confusion on Ianto’s face is entirely genuine.

“I know. I know it’s April, but you have to think. October fifteenth. I was…” he pauses, trying to put his thoughts together. “I was in London, in a meeting with UNIT, and you were in the Hub by yourself.”

Ianto’s frown deepens, and he blinks a few times. “Yeah, okay, I remember that,” he says finally.

“Did anything unusual happen that day?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Ianto and Gwen speak in unison.

Jack looks from one to the other, and Ianto and Gwen look at one another in confusion.

“What…?”

“I called you, remember? You said the Doctor was there, refuelling.”

Ianto’s eyes widen, and he stares at Gwen like she’s lost her mind. Then he turns back to Jack. “I… don’t remember that…”

Jack considers him for several moments, and finally nods. “No, you wouldn’t…” he says quietly. Of course Ianto wouldn’t betray his trust like that. And yet, something must have gone wrong, because there he was—breathing, talking, alive.

“And the following week… did anything happen that seemed… out of place?”

It’s Gwen who answers him this time, sounding like she’s starting to lose her patience. “You mean, other than the 456 and the world nearly ending?”

But Ianto’s expression changes fractionally, a hint of recognition appearing in his eyes. “He’s talking about the note.”

“What note?” Lois asks, confused.

Gwen looks at Ianto with wide eyes. “The note,” she says, and looks back to Jack as if expecting him to understand exactly what they’re talking about.

“The note?” Jack echoes.

Ianto is already off, heading to the other side of the room, where a large number of boxes are stacked neatly next to two large filing cabinets. Jack, Gwen and Lois follow, and by the time they reach him Ianto’s come up with a medium sized box, and is opening it up. He holds it out and Jack can see that it’s empty, save for a small yellow post-it on the bottom. One scribbled line of text says, ‘Never leave home without it’.

“That’s your handwriting,” Jack notes.

“It is,” Ianto confirms. “Only I don’t ever remember writing it. The box was just sitting there, on the floor, when we broke into that decommissioned Torchwood facility in London. The note was on top. You said… that… whenever one finds self-addressed advice notes one does not remember writing…”

“… they usually turn out to be very good advice,” Jack finishes for him. Not because he remembers saying it, but because that’s something he would say. “What was in the box…?”

Ianto places the lid back on and turns the box around. When Jack sees the picture of a UNIT standard-issue gas mask on the side, he feels a hysterical giggle threatening to escape.

“Oh, I bet that turned out to be a really good advice,” he chokes out, voice sounding funny to his own ears. “No need to ask what that errand turned out to be, then.” He realizes that they’re all staring at him as if he was insane, and feels hysteria bubbling up again. He takes an unsteady step back, then turns around putting some distance between him and the team. “What else is changed, then? Steven?” he turns to glance at them again, and feels the last remains of his composure slipping away at their stricken expression. “No such luck, huh?” he asks, voice breaking. “I always thought that you’d have stopped me, if…” His eyes are fixed on Ianto as he says it. He’s dizzy, breathing too fast, and tries to blink it away.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Jack?” Gwen yells, angry now. “Ianto was in a coma for three weeks because of that virus.” She walks towards him, her cheeks flushed and her eyes blazing. “I was with his family, because you sent me there! And why the hell am I telling you that? You were right there!”

Jack looks away. It wasn’t real, he wants to tell her. Things never happened quite this way. It has to be put back the way it was, and then Ianto will be gone again.

Ianto comes closer, hurt and worry evident on his face. “Have I done something wrong…?”

“I…” Jack hesitates, looking at Ianto intently.

He doesn’t know what to tell him. Ianto had made a half-cocked attempt at saving his own life, which, against all odds and reason, had actually worked, but where there should have been winged creatures and apocalyptic repercussions, all Jack sees around him is life, carrying on.

Ianto reaches out to him, intending to lay a hand on his arm, but Jack draws away before he makes contact, shaking his head. “No… I have to know first…” At Ianto’s confused look, he tries to explain. “I have to know if this is for keeps.”

***

Outside, the sun has nearly disappeared beyond the horizon, and the evening chill is already starting to set in. Jack finds a wooden crate near the back door of the warehouse and sits down before fishing out his mobile phone from his pocket. He punches in the number, but doesn’t hit send right away.

He’d not allowed himself to hope, yet. Had not allowed himself to grab for this new and improved reality that was being tantalizingly dangled in front of his face. Still, he finds that he’s terrified at the thought of having it taken away.

As the call connects, a small part of him wishes that no-one picks it up on the other end.

“Ahhhhh!!! Hel—Hello…? Ouch, stop that!”

Jack pulls the mobile away from his ear and looks at it in confusion before putting it back to his ear. “Uh, Doctor? Is everything okay?”

There’s a loud bang followed by what sounds like an even louder crash.

“Jack!” the Doctor exclaims cheerfully. “Everything’s peachy. What can I do for you?”

Jack can’t help rolling his eyes in amusement. “That anomaly in the space time continuum.”

“The one that fixed itself?”

Jack pauses, closes his eyes. “Yeah, that one.”

“What about it?”

“Is there any chance that during our refuelling stop I… somehow… helped it get fixed?”

There’s another loud crash, and some beeping in the background. “Well… hard to say, really, but seeing as it is fixed I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.”

Jack lets out a long, even breath. While the Doctor keeps his tone casual and light-hearted, the weight and meaning behind his words are unmistakable.

“What does it mean?” Jack asks after a few seconds.

“I’m not sure I understand the question.”

He swallows and leans his head back against the wall. “A lot of people died that day.”

“Ah... but only one death was significant enough to generate an anomaly. Imagine that…”

Jack tries to organize his scattered thoughts. He knows what the Doctor is implying. It can only mean that Ianto is... important. Not only to Jack, not just to Torchwood, but on a much broader, larger scale. He’s not sure how he feels about that. “You’re not going to enlighten me, are you?” Jack asks, resigned.

“Once again, Captain, this isn’t about you.”

Jack rubs his eyes. He can feel a growing sensation of giddiness, threatening to overwhelm every rational thought, but a small part in him still seeks answers, as if by explaining it he can somehow make it more real.

“They... don’t remember... how it happened the first time around, but I do. Like their memory is revised, somehow, but mine isn’t.”

The Doctor takes his time answering. “I believe that has a lot to do with your nature, Jack. The fabric of reality can be made and remade, and that applies to the people inside it, but around you time behaves… differently.”

Jack smiles a little at that, thinking that they’ve come a long way since that first time the Doctor referred to him as being ‘wrong’.

In the background, Jack hears a strange yelp, and the sound of something breaking. “Do I need to come rescue you again, Doctor?” he asks in amusement.

“Oh, I think I can manage. Hope so. Ow! Alright, got to go. Bye now!”

The line disconnects and Jack flips the phone closed with a snap.

To his right, the warehouse door opens with a loud screech, making him jump.

“Sorry,” Ianto mutters when he sees him. “Uh... Lois and Gwen are starting to freak out. And they’re freaking me out in the process. They now think you are, in fact, an alien who stole Jack’s body.”

Jack smiles. Then outright laughs. “No, Ianto. I’m... really me,” he says, thinking he’s never been happier to see Ianto in his entire life.

Ianto nods, turning serious. “Is... everything okay, Jack?” he asks in his no-nonsense tone.

“Everything is... better than okay,” Jack answers, still smiling. After a moment, he rolls his eyes. “Except for the part where I don’t remember anything that happened here in the last six months.”

Ianto’s eyes widen. “You have amnesia?”

“Something like that.”

“Oh.” Ianto seems to process that for a moment, before he shrugs. “I could fill you in, I guess.”

Jack laughs in amazement, then comes forward and wraps Ianto in a hug. He feels Ianto’s arms slowly coming up around his back.

“What’s that for?” Ianto asks softly.

Jack lets his chin rest over Ianto’s shoulder and closes his eyes. “I’m just very glad to be here. With you,” Jack tells him, thinking of how big an understatement that is.

He won’t tell Ianto he loves him.

Not now, because the moment is not quite right, and Jack thinks that, now that they have time, he can afford to wait for one that is.

TW Ficlet: Reflections

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 21:59:12 GMT

Title: Reflections
Word count: ~ 470
Characters: Jack, Ianto.
Spoilers: TW CoE
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Summary: It’s two weeks later, in Brussels, that Jack’s finally willing to face a mirror.

Warnings: If you're looking for a happy pick-me-up post CoE, this isn't it.

It’s two weeks later, in Brussels, that Jack’s finally willing to face a mirror.

They’re easy to avoid, when one is constantly on the move; never staying in one place for more than one night.

This is the first night in a week he’s actually staying indoors— the others were spent just sitting under the stars, thinking, and, when he was exhausted enough, curled up in the back seat of his car. Tonight he decided on a hotel, not so much for the comfort of a bed, but mostly because he desperately needed a shower.

Afterwards, he wraps a white terrycloth hotel robe around himself and pads into the bedroom. Only when he sits down at the foot of the bed does he realize it’s facing a full-sized mirror, and for the first time in two weeks, he doesn’t turn away from it. Doesn’t look elsewhere.

He lets his eyes scan over his own reflection dispassionately. He’s not sure whether he expected anything to look different – surely not, seeing as he’s been around and unchanged for decades. His face looks the same as ever, slack and expressionless now. His eyes—somewhat dull, but otherwise the same.

Slowly, he slips out of the robe and lets it pool around his waist. His skin has a healthy, pink blush from the nearly scalding water, but otherwise looks unmarred and perfect.

He’d been blown up.

Blown up, to little pieces.

And yet here he was, his stomach taut and smooth, his heart beating steadily behind his ribcage.

Everything exactly as it should be once more.

He thinks that after everything, there should be something. A blemish, a scar, anything to mark what had transpired. To prove that something has changed.

There’s nothing.

“I’m tired,” he whispers.

“The bed’s right here,” Ianto offers from behind him.

In the mirror, Jack sees him sitting with his back against the headboard.

“Not that kind of tired,” he mutters. Jack runs a hand through his hair, rubbing the wet strands through his fingers for a few seconds. “I’m tired of this life, I think. Tired of living at all. I wish I could just…”

“Stop?” Ianto suggests.

Jack shrugs.

“You’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.”

“The closest I came to a good night’s sleep lately was when I was buried in the ground for two thousand years.”

Ianto rolls his eyes. “That’s a little morbid, don’t you think?”

Jack huffs and turns to look at him over his shoulder. “Says the dead person.”

“Well, then, it’s not really me saying it, as much as you thinking it,” Ianto says pointedly.

Jack sighs and turns back to the mirror.

He wonders how long it’ll be, how many more years, before he can no longer stand the sight of his own reflection.

Torchwood fic: Withdrawal (Jack/Ianto, R)

Tue, 19 May 2009 17:46:09 GMT

Title: Withdrawal
Word count: ~ 1,500
Rating: R
Characters/pairings: Jack/Ianto, implied Jack/Other.
Spoilers: None whatsoever.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Thanks to my wonderful beta andreth47 , both for the insight and for putting up with me.

Summary: “…while extracting himself from a dysfunctional and potentially destructive relationship had its advantages, the fact remained that in the end, he still ended up alone.”

Warnings: Do you like scribbling Janto forever + hearts and flowers on random pieces of paper? Then don't read this.

In a way, Ianto had known from the start that things would end up this way.

Okay, maybe not from the very beginning, because back then the possibility of a future with Jack was as absurd as it was unwanted.

But later on, after they had fallen into a routine of sorts, it became apparent that their inherent views on the definition of a proper relationship were quite different. Ianto didn’t think much of it, really, seeing as he was a Torchwood employee with a ridiculously short life expectancy, and he figured that, as his days were spent in such an unusual profession, his nights may as well be just as unusual.

While Gwen could somehow continuously delude herself into thinking she could have a normal life, a family, outside of Torchwood, Ianto knew that for him that option was nonexistent.

Which left Jack, obviously, with his abundant affection (directed at Ianto regularly but not exclusively), and innovative recreational activities. Ianto had truly believed that he could carry on a 51^st century-style relationship with a man like Jack, and for a while, it had worked.

Until it hadn’t, because emotions that three thousand years of evolution had successfully eradicated in Jack, would no longer be suppressed in Ianto. That need - to own, to possess, and to be exclusively cherished and loved… Ianto had tried to dismiss it as being primitive and obsolete.

However, that need had proven to be so basic, so primal, that Ianto’s reason and common sense could no longer quiet it down. It had become so distracting, in fact, that the only remaining option was to take a step back in an attempt to avoid a total breakdown.

The problem was that a tiny, selfish and immature part of him had wanted Jack to put up a fight. To throw promises of change at Ianto, that would win him back despite their obvious unlikelihood. And when that hadn’t happened, when Jack acquiesced with only a token of protest and basically moved on, that tiny part of Ianto just withered, becoming a knot of darkness and misery that would not allow him to do the same.

True, their version of ‘keeping it professional’ was resulting in more efficient teamwork, and considerably less instances of Ianto finding himself bubbling inside with that uncontrollable frustration that had effectively distracted him from his job. However, while extracting himself from a dysfunctional and potentially destructive relationship had its advantages, the fact remained that in the end, he still ended up alone.

Surprisingly, he can’t even blame Jack for making things harder on him (except maybe by solely being there, but there’s really not much that can be done about that). Jack’s behavior is close to being exemplary. Innuendoes are kept to a minimum (not abolished, because that would be just unnatural), and Jack only talks to Gwen about his most recent paramour when he thinks Ianto can’t overhear them.

For his part, Ianto keeps his usual front of polite indifference. Jack and Gwen know him well enough by now that it doesn’t work quite as well as it did back in the first days of his employment, but it generally keeps them from meddling too much.

Emergencies are almost welcomed these days, as they temporarily make all their domestic matters seem inconsequential in the face of real life and death situations. Once they pass, however, Ianto finds that the relief of survival, of being given the privilege to exist for a while longer, is not accompanied by elation and giddiness, as was the case just a few weeks prior. Now he just feels tired and empty.

***

It’s Friday night, and Jack has given Gwen and him the weekend off. As she packs up her bag, Gwen glances up at him with an expression that, up until a month ago, was reserved for particularly pathetic and fluffy organisms that came through the rift.

“Hey, you want to come over for dinner?” she asks lightly. “Rhys is making lasagna.”

Ianto looks at his monitor and pretends to be busy. “Uh… I have plans. Thanks, though.”

They both know it’s a lie, but thankfully Gwen doesn’t push it, only gives him another one of her annoying, sympathetic smiles and wishes him a nice weekend before walking out.

By ten in the evening Ianto more or less runs out of things to do. The prospect of going back to his empty flat, where he’ll be spending the weekend alone, makes even the dank underground archives of Torchwood, with their never-ending stacks of filing, seem inviting.

As he sweeps the main floor for dirty cups one last time, his eyes dart into Jack’s office, in which his boss is still sitting, engrossed in some paperwork.

You do not want to go in there. The Inner Voice of Reason is as clear as it can be. You know where this road leads. You’ve made the right call.

The empty mug on Jack’s desk is like a beacon.

Or a very good excuse.

He stops just outside the doorway, not quite crossing the invisible line that would place them in the same room together. “Would you like another coffee?” he asks neutrally.

Jack looks up distractedly, then glances at the clock on the wall.

“Ianto. What are you still doing here? I thought I gave you the weekend off.”

Ianto shrugs, looks away. “I have a few things to finish up,” he replies. I’m also a liar who has no life whatsoever outside this place. “You’re not seeing Christina tonight?” he blurts, and then mentally beats himself. Oh, excellent. Way to go with the casual professionalism, there. He’ll probably start referring to you as his clingy, jealous ex-boyfriend next.

Jack puts down the pen he’s holding and leans back in his chair, a slightly quizzical expression on his face. “She’s… out of town.” His tone his gentle, and somehow it only makes Ianto feel worse.

“Oh.”

He clears his throat, and prepares to make a hasty retreat in an attempt to salvage some of his remaining dignity, but then Jack picks up his mug and holds it out to him, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Well, if you’re sticking around, might as well.”

***

As it turns out, the Inner Voice of Reason can be quieted down rather effectively by the right kind of stimulation. Like that of Jack’s tongue, swiping along Ianto’s lower lip and then into his mouth, as Ianto grinds his clothed erection against his hip. When Ianto deepens the kiss further, sliding the fingers of one hand into Jack’s hair while the other remains in the middle of Jack’s chest, pinning him to the wall, the voice vanishes altogether.

After over a month of keeping well clear of him, avoiding getting into his personal space to a sometimes ridiculous degree, touching Jack, kissing him, being with him — it feels like the first gulp of air to a drowning man. His entire universe shrinks down to the tiny space encompassing the two of them, and his senses cannot process anything apart from Jack’s scent, the sound of his voice, the texture of his skin.

Sometime later, as the heat and urgency are ebbing away and his breaths are slowly returning to normal, Inner Voice of Reason lets him know that he’s a twat.

A real man of principle, you are.

Ianto tells it to shut the fuck up and concentrates on tucking his shirt back in.

“So… not that I’m complaining, but… I thought we weren’t doing this anymore,” Jack says slowly. He’s slumped in his chair, not making any move to retrieve his clothes that are strewn around the office.

Ianto collects his jacket from the floor and gives it a gentle shake before shrugging it back on. “We’re not,” he answers briskly and starts searching for his tie.

“And this was…?”

He finds it, half under the table, and picks it up, tucking it into his jacket pocket. He turns to face Jack, but doesn’t quite look at him, instead keeping his eyes fixed on the edge of the desk. “A one-off,” he says softly, then swallows and adds, “It won’t happen again.”

No, of course it won’t. It’s not as if you’re pathetically incapable of staying away from him.

He finally glances up at Jack’s face, and finds that the other man is looking at him with a slightly pained expression. “You know, Ianto, I really wish you could just…” he pauses, seeming unsure of how to complete the sentence. Eventually he just shakes his head and looks away.

Ianto ducks his head and turns to the door. “Have a good weekend, Jack,” he says quietly, before slowly making his way outside.

I just pissed myself laughing

Sat, 11 Apr 2009 01:32:58 GMT

Cat owners: your day is about to become very amusing.

Haven't you always wished for a really good self-cleaning litter box? Now there's "CatGenie-Self Washing, Self Flushing Cat Box". Here is the product description from Amazon:

"Never scoop, touch, buy, or change cat litter again with this unique self-flushing, self-washing cat box. Instead of traditional litter, it uses permanent washable granules that never require changing, yet satisfy a cat's need to dig and cover. Liquids drain through the granules and solid waste gets scooped and liquefied, then both are flushed with fresh water down the drain. Touch a button or pre-set the timer to start the wash cycle. Using water and veterinarian-approved SaniSolution, the unit scours and sanitizes the granules and cat-box interior to eliminate germs and odors. Its built-in dryer completes the cycle by blowing hot air over the granules to dry them. The unit acts like a cat box, washes and dries like an appliance, and flushes waste out of the home like a toilet."

Doesn't that sound AMAZING???

So I scroll down to read the customer reviews, and this is what I find:

An expensive way to smell poo,September 18, 2007
By N A "Cat Lover" (Tampa, FL)

Cat Genie takes the small unpleasantness of daily cleaning the litter and it saves it up and releases that unpleasantness as one big unscheduled, unpleasant inconvenience every week or two. Advanced monitors will ensure that the device failure will occur during the workday, as you prepare for your important meeting with your prospective client. Nothing like cleaning out wet cat poo in your nicest suit. Or, you may be pleasantly awoken in the middle of the night by the repeating three beeps of "there's poo and hair in the hopper." You will become more familiar with your cat's feces every day as the cat genie gently fills your home with the aroma of baking excrement. Plus, you get to pay over $300 for technology that was "designed" and built for less than $2. The "processor" unit was designed in 1967 and allows all the functionality of the most advanced microchip devices of its era. It has both on and off modes. (Note: off mode available only while unplugged.)

Actually, the real reason for the high cost of the device is to cover the costs of all the customer support that they must provide and to cover the costs of all of the returned units. The question is not IF, but WHEN you will find yourself hunched over your cat's feces floating in a pool of fetid water, picking small plastic pellets out of the opaque, pungent water with your fingers so that you can get the device put back together.

And your cats will thank you by depositing their love bundles beside the machine that's half filled with water and beeping away forlornly if you happen to be away when it fails.

We have three cats, they had no trouble adjusting to the machine over about a week. The small plastic pellets getting everywhere in the house is not really any big deal. Roomba takes care of most of them well. We've now had the machine for three months. We received a replacement base last week for a leaky drain hose. We've called their customer service line enough times that we now know the "secret" diagnostic techniques of their experts. We don't know if we're going to keep it or return it. If we keep it, we're definitely going to install an exhaust fan in the laundry room, and set it to a timer to go when the unit is on. For some reason there are little bits of poo that fall between the tines of the hopper, and they get slow baked every time the unit dries itself. The stench is really outstanding. It's hard to describe. I'm a doctor, and I've rarely ever smelled anything so bad.

My recommendation is to wait for the next generation cat sanitation solution. That device will need to be a complete redesign to solve the myriad of problems with this unfortunate device. To say something positive, the customer support line is manned by kind, well-meaning kids who really do feel badly that you're having a hard time with your mechanical poo soup maker.

If you do buy this device, get some thick rubber gloves and a couple of towels that you won't use for anything else.

N A "Cat Lover", you are my favorite disgruntled person ever.

Still ROTFLMAO

Torchwood fic: I am the mood you're in tonight

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 20:16:39 GMT

Title: I am the mood you're in tonight
Word count: 1,800
Rating: NC-17
Characters/pairings: Jack, Ianto, OFC.
Spoilers: None whatsoever.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Thanks to my wonderful beta andreth47

Summary: Being unable to say no to Jack has its consequences.

Warnings: Under the cut

The warnings kind of spoil the story, in my opinion. Highlight only if you find it absolutely necessary: Kink, BDSM, Voyeurism.

He hangs the towel neatly in its place and pads naked into the dimly lit bedroom, stopping at the foot of the bed. The clothes he’d picked up before the shower are laid out on it carefully. It took some time to decide, because, really, what does one wear to such as occasion?

It occurs to him that he’s been standing there, staring at nothing for several long minutes, and he mentally shakes himself and reaches for the black briefs. The dark purple shirt follows, appearing nearly black in the soft lighting. He buttons it down with precise, deliberate movements. Then the trousers, black, as is the leather belt.

He turns to the full-size mirror as he buttons the shirt cuffs, and somehow manages to look without actually seeing anything. He runs a hand through his hair, still wet and spiky, and takes a deep breath.

Lets it out slowly.

He picks up his wristwatch from the bedside table, but hesitates as he wraps it around his wrist. Reconsidering, he takes it off again and returns it to the table. He won’t need to keep time, tonight.

No tie or jacket, either.

Just his long, wool coat, that manages to give him some illusion of comfort even on a spring night like this one. He locks the door behind him and takes the stairs down. The night air is crisp and sweet-smelling, and the SUV is already parked in front of his building.

Jack grins as he sees him, and comes out to greet him. “You look good enough to eat,” he says appreciatively. “I almost want to take you back inside and have my way with you, and forget this whole thing.”

Ianto arches an eyebrow. “Almost?”

If anything, Jack’s grin turns even wider. “Almost.” He kisses Ianto lightly, brushing his cheek with his thumb before pulling back.

Ianto meets his eyes steadily and tries to smile. “Let’s go,” he says, and feels very proud at how steady his voice sounds.

***

They don’t talk throughout the drive. The radio blares meaningless noise, and Ianto has to overcome his initial reflex to reach over and switch it off, because the alternative seems that much worse.

When they finally reach their destination and Jack switches off the engine, he suddenly finds it a little difficult to breathe. Jack turns in his seat, looking over him speculatively. “It’s not too late to change your mind, you know,” he says kindly.

Ianto’s mouth twitches. “No. I’m alright. I’m ready.” The words come out in a rush.

Jack raises an eyebrow. “Sure?”

Ianto plasters on a smile. “You said it’ll be fun.” He unfastens his seatbelt. “Come on.” He’s out of the car before Jack has a chance to say anything else.

***

For someone who likes being in control as much as Ianto does, giving it up completely proves to be a difficult task.

Once he does, however, he’s shocked to discover that all his pent up anxiety does nothing to suppress his total exhilaration.

“Such a good boy,” Bella’s voice, so sweet and breathy in his ear. He can feel her fingernails on the back of his neck before she pulls back. Then the whip comes down hard, three times in succession. He gasps at the first lash, his hands tightening around the wooden legs of the bench he’s tied down to, but doesn’t make another sound.

He can tell she’s not breaking the skin, but it still hurts like hell. He imagines the welts, vivid pink, crisscrossing over his back, his ass, the back of his thighs. The initial sting melts into tingling heat, and his cock throbs, painfully hard.

And isn’t that a laugh? Because an hour ago he would have sworn that there’s no way, no way in hell he’d ever get off on something like this. On pain.

The whip comes down again, once, twice, five times, and he cries out raggedly, feeling his chest contract, then expand, pressing down against the soft leather of the bench. A rush of lightheadedness, then heat, spreading everywhere.

There’s a rustle of movement, and she’s kneeling beside him again, her lips brushing his ear. “Don’t hold back… I like it when you scream for me,” she says, trailing cool fingers down the sensitive skin of his back. He shivers, then spreads his legs a little bit, knees scraping the floor, hoping she’ll reach down and touch his aching cock. “He likes it too,” she adds, and Ianto twists his head to the side, resting his cheek against soft leather. He looks towards the dark glass window.

Despite the shading, he can make out Jack standing behind it, close enough to the glass that he’s almost touching it. He’s looking into the room, at Ianto, with eyes that are heavy lidded with arousal, lips slightly parted, and his unwavering gaze sends pulses of heat and desire throughout Ianto’s entire body. Dimly, he registers Jack’s partial state of undress; his coat and shirt are gone, leaving just a plain white undershirt.

Bella’s cool fingers trail down the curve of his ass. She takes hold of the protruding end of the plug embedded deep inside him, and twists it. Ianto moans loudly, closing his eyes and pushing back. “Please,” he begs.

“Please what, baby? Do you want to come?” She twists the plug again, pulling on it, then pushing gently.

Ianto whimpers, breathes out a “Yeah”.

“Ah… but you have to earn it. Have to be good. Will you be good for me?” she sing-songs.

He nods, frantically. “Yes. Please. Anything.”

She laughs breathily and stands up, and Ianto’s eyes follow her as she walks to the front of the room, high heels tapping on the hardwood floor. She stops before a large wooden table, picks something up and turns around again. Ianto’s eyes widen, his breath hitching, as he sees the long, black silicone cock. It looks enormous, grotesque, even, in Bella’s small, delicate hand.

“Oh, God,” he whispers, then closes his eyes in denial.

His heart is racing, and he flexes his hands, actually reassured by the snag of the wide, leather handcuffs.

The first touch of her hand to the small of his back makes him jump, but she leaves it there, rubbing in small circles. “Shhh… just relax, I’ll take good care of you…”

He leans into it, comforted by the touch despite the occasional twinge of pain whenever she brushes over a particularly sensitive, raw patch of skin.

She pulls the plug out slowly, and he barely has time to take a breath before the large dildo is pressed into him. It feels huge, burning and stretching as it breaches him, and he hisses and clamps down. Almost immediately, her hand is in his hair, yanking his head back painfully and making tears spring into his eyes.

“Don’t fight me, boy,” she hisses in his ear.

He swallows and closes his eyes, then forces his muscles to relax, stop clenching.

“That’s it… that’s better,” she says softly as she pushes the thing the rest of the way in. She releases his hair and he finds that he can only slump forward limply, gasping in short, rapid breaths. The pressure inside him feels impossible, and it shouldn’t, just shouldn’t feel good, but then she pulls it out just a fraction, and back in, and he thinks it’s going to make him come even without any contact to his cock.

She does it again and he moans, pushing back involuntarily. He turns his head again, looking at Jack, who now seems to be using the viewing window for support. There’s a patch of slightly fogged up glass from where he’s panting against it, and his right hand is somewhere below the window pane, invisible, but Ianto can see the muscles in his upper arm flexing and releasing rhythmically. Jack’s eyes roam over him, wide and staring.

Ianto cries out loudly at another deep thrust, and the words that start pouring out of him are nearly unintelligible. “pleasepleasepleaseohGod... fuck, please…”

Bella’s free hand reaches down, and finally, finally, her fist closes around his stiff cock, and it feels so fucking good he can’t even make a sound. His mouth opens in a silent scream, his eyes clamp shut, and he comes, and comes, and comes. It lasts forever, it seems, bright light exploding behind his eyelids, drowning out sound, thought and everything else.

It’s a long time before he comes back to himself, and for a while there’s only the sound of his slowing breaths, strangely loud in the room. The pressure in his ass is gone, and he feels his hands being uncuffed.

There’s a murmur to his left. “I’ll take it from here, Bella.” Jack’s voice.

Strong hands pull him slowly upright until he’s sitting back on his haunches, one hand remaining around the back of his neck for support as Jack’s face swims into focus. “Hey gorgeous, still in there?” he asks, grinning.

“I…” Ianto starts but stops as a full-body shake goes through him. It happens again, forcing what sounds like a slightly hysterical giggle from his throat, and he realizes that he’s laughing. Laughing and laughing and he can’t stop, and tears are running down his face. Jack puts his arms around him and pulls him into a hug, stroking his hair in slow, soothing movements. It takes a few more minutes but finally the shaking stops and manages to take a deep breath.

Jack keeps one arm around him and reach for something with the other. As Ianto pulls back a soft terry-cloth robe is wrapped around his shoulders. He looks down at it, then lifts his arms just enough to slip them into the sleeves. Jack ties it around his waist.

“Feeling okay?” Jack asks quietly.

Ianto nods, not looking at him. He uses the sleeve of the robe to wipe the wetness away from his face. “I want…” his voice sounds funny to his own ears and he stops.

Jack cups his cheek gently. “What do you want, Ianto?” He tilts Ianto’s face up until he has no choice but to meet his eyes.

Once he does, he’s utterly lost. Jack is looking down at him like he’s the most precious thing in the world, and it nearly takes his breath away. The words come into his mouth without thought or intent. “White chocolate raspberry truffle ice cream.”

Jack’s eyes widen fractionally before he lets out a startled laugh. He leans in and takes Ianto’s lips in a slow, deep kiss. “You are one of a kind, you know that?” he says after pulling back. “I just can’t get enough of you.”

Ianto just stares at him, a little dazed. Jack stands up and offers his hand. “Come on. Let’s go get some ice cream.”

Revisions

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:41:36 GMT

So what do I do when my writing muse leaves and refuses to come back? I re-read my old stuff, realize it's all crap and start to revise.

In the case of With Respect, I ended up with a completely different story. Did you miss the original version? Lucky you! (seriously). It's now gone forever, and not a moment too soon.

Also, made some revisions to In a Manner of Speaking, but nothing that drastic.

Fortunately, after a bad couple of months, muse is slowly returning. Expect porn by the end of the week.

Torchwood Fic: Call it what you will

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 01:23:36 GMT

Title: Call it what you will
Word count: ~1,000
Rating: Standard
Characters/pairings: Jack, Ianto/Gwen (implied).
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Thanks to andreth47 for the super-quick beta.

Summary: Aliens make them do it. Sort of. (It's Torchwood, what did you expect?)

When Jack returns to the Hub, Gwen is sitting at her workstation and speaking on the phone while Ianto is cleaning up the coffee machine. Ianto looks up when he hears the cog door rolling open, and smiles briefly at Jack before returning his attention to the cleaning. Gwen raises a hand in greeting in Jack's direction, not pausing in her conversation.

"How was the meeting?" Ianto asks.

"Fine. The usual," Jack says as he shrugs off his coat and walks into his office. He hangs the coat up and pauses. Sniffs the air once, twice, and frowns. His office smells faintly of… something strange. Jack looks around, but nothing seems out of the ordinary.

"Hey, Ianto, did you clean my office today?" Jack calls out.

Ianto calls out a "Yup" back at him.

Jack shrugs, and settles down at his desk.

***

Something fishy is going on. Jack knows it without knowing how he knows it.

He was only gone for half a day for that meeting in UNIT, but something has… changed, while he was away. When he asks Gwen what went on while he was gone she shrugs and says, nothing much. For some reason, that only makes Jack more suspicious.

He narrows his eyes and goes back into his office.

That funny smell is still there.

***

"Send this back to General Williams. They can use it to triangulate the signal once the encryption is decoded."

Gwen nods and takes the file from him without meeting his eyes. Jack looks up and sees Ianto coming down from the upper level.

"System scan came back clean," he declares to no one in particular before promptly heading towards the armory.

"Okay, stop," Jack says sharply.

Ianto stops in his tracks, back going slightly rigid. After a second, he turns around slowly, his expression unreadable. To Jack's left, Gwen's tapping on the keyboard stops, and she turns her chair around until she faces him. Jack doesn't miss the brief, worried glance she sends in Ianto's direction.

"What. Is. Going. On."

"What do you mean?" Gwen asks with a nervous smile.

"I mean that for some reason you and Ianto don't come within fifty feet of each other, or make eye contact with each other, or with me, and there are over four hours of CCTV footage from this morning missing, and I'm pretty sure my office smells like that 47^th century industrial cleaner we keep for special occasions, so I repeat. What is going on?"

Gwen looks up at him with wide eyes, then looks at Ianto.

Ianto looks from Gwen, to Jack, and finally rolls his eyes. He sits down on the nearest chair and sighs. "It was my fault, really," he says.

"No. It was mine," Gwen counters.

"I should have handled the safe by myself. I always do."

"Yes, and I insisted on helping. And it was me who dropped it."

Jack looks from one to the other in confusion, before his patience runs out. "Enough!" he exclaims. "Ianto. Start at the beginning."

Ianto shrugs. "We had an Amorphous Schuffer come through the rift," he says.

Jack frowns. "Those green gassy thingies?"

Ianto nods. "It appeared in one of the older level tunnels. We figured we could handle the situation without too much trouble. I got the radioactive containment chamber from the safe in your office, and then we went down there and contained the gas without incident."

Jack looks at the younger man expectantly. "And…?"

"We were in a hurry to get the containment chamber, and some stuff fell out of the safe."

Jack narrows his eyes. "Stuff?"

Ianto clears his throat. "Stuff."

"I wanted to help put everything back in place," Gwen jumps in. "But I dropped the spray bottle." Gwen's face turns sheepish.

Jack stares at her. "Spray bottle?"

She looks away. "The… pheromone spray. It… uh… broke. And the content spilled out. All of it. Over the two of us…"

Ianto is suddenly very interested in examining his nails. Gwen looks like she wishes for the earth to open up and swallow her whole.

For a long moment, Jack just gapes at them.

Then his face twists in something that can only be described as glee, and he bursts out laughing.

Ianto rolls his eyes, while Gwen seems livid.

"You think this is funny?!" she yells. Jack looks like he's doing everything he can to choke it down, but to no avail. He continues to shake with laughter as Gwen rants on. "I have to go home to my husband tonight! How am I going to explain the bite marks?!"

For a moment it looks like her words are about to send Jack into another fit of laughter, but at last, with a huge effort, he manages to regain composure, and wipes tears from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... Look, Gwen, for some reason these things just… seem to happen here in Torchwood. A lot," he says, clearly finding the entire thing highly amusing. "Right, Ianto? You remember that time you ended up having sex with that blue mermaid alien with the suckers?"

Ianto sends Jack a tight smile. "I was actually doing a good job of repressing that until you brought it up just now, thank you," he says.

A phone rings in Jack's office, and Ianto seems relieved to have a reason to excuse himself from their presence.

Jack turns to Gwen, who's still glaring at him. "Come on, Gwen. You really shouldn't take it so hard. You got to have sex with Ianto for… four hours. Not what I'd call a hardship."

Gwen looks away as her face turns suddenly bright red.

"Oh ho," Jack says, brow raised. "That good, huh?"

Gwen shrugs and looks in the direction of Jack's office, where Ianto is still on the phone, his back turned.

"I never realized," she says. "Once the suit comes off…"

Jack grins. "Tell me about it."

Ianto hangs up the phone.

As if by mutual agreement, Gwen quickly turns back to her work station and Jack goes upstairs.

fin.

(A sequel coming soon…)

Torchwood Fic: They tell me it happened on a Wednesday (Jack/Ianto, Adult, Part III/III)

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 03:50:30 GMT

NOW COMPLETE

Chapter 9

When Martha steps into the waiting room of the UNIT medical facility, she finds Rhys and Gwen there along with Jack. Jack is sitting on one of the plastic chairs, leaning forward. Gwen is kneeling before him, her forehead touching his, and is speaking to him in low, hushed tones. Rhys is standing not far from the vending machines, cradling Claire's baby in his arms, and using one foot to gently rock the stroller in front of him, in which his son is currently sleeping. The corner of Martha's mouth curves up slightly at the picture he presents.

When Gwen notices her she pulls away from Jack and rises. Jack follows suit, staying one step behind Gwen. "Rhys and I are going to take the baby home with us for a little while," she tells Martha quietly.

Martha nods at her. "That's a good idea," she says. They hug briefly, and then Martha watches as Gwen and Rhys disappear down the hall.

"How's he doing?" Jack asks her as soon as they're out of earshot. Martha looks up at him, taking in his red rimmed eyes and exhausted expression.

"He'll fully recover from his physical injuries," she says carefully. Jack nods, not looking particularly relieved. "He woke up about fifteen minutes ago. He was disoriented and started to get hysterical again. They had to sedate him," she adds. Jack looks away from her, and she can see the muscles in his jaw working. "They want him to be kept here, under psychiatric observation."

Jack blinks, and shakes his head. "No," he says simply.

Martha clears her throat. "Jack," she says gently, but he stops her with another shake of the head.

"He'll feel better in a familiar environment. I'm not leaving him here," he says, and it's clear that he considers the matter closed.

"There are some things you should know, Jack," Martha says slowly. "Ianto was held there for over six months. They… infected him with a type of alien microorganism, which speeds up the replenishing of the blood supply, so that they could drain blood from him more often." At Jack's startled expression, she gives a quick shake of the head "It doesn't seem to be dangerous, and, in time, it'll probably clear out of his system. But… It's causing elevated levels of G6 alpha in his blood."

Jack frowns in concentration. "G6 alpha…" he echoes. It takes a moment and his eyes widen as realization dawns.

Martha nods. "Retcon is not an option, for him. The cross reaction could be deadly."

Jack curses silently.

"He's been through hell, Jack. When they did the physical they found some truly horrific things. You need to be prepared for the possibility that he's not coming back from this."

Jack shakes his head. "You don't know Ianto. He's the strongest person I know. He'll get through this," he says, determined.

Martha looks at him for a long time, but finally nods. "Okay," she says. "I'll go and see about getting him discharged."

***

Half an hour later, both Jack and Martha are sitting at Ianto's bedside. Martha is still flipping through the pages of the medical report she's holding, and Jack, having gone through it already, is just staring at Ianto's still form and looking sick to his stomach. The words he has just read feel like they are engraved on the inside of his eyelids. He had known to expect this, known what the Vapros were like, but seeing it on the medical report, knowing that it was done to Ianto... For the first time, he feels that Claire might have been the lucky one of the two.

"I don't understand," Martha says and looks up at Jack. "If they were relying on a steady blood supply from him, why starve him?"

Jack blinks very slowly. "I don't think they were starving him," he says.

Martha's brow draws in confusion.

"I think he just stopped eating at some point," Jack adds.

Martha turns to look at Ianto too, and draws in a shaky breath. "He wanted to die," she says in a soft whisper.

Jack looks down at his feet. "He gave up."

Continue to Chapter 10

Part I – Prologue + Chapter 1

Part II – Chapters 2 – 8

Torchwood Fic: They tell me it happened on a Wednesday (Jack/Ianto, Adult, Part II/III)

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 03:31:43 GMT

Part II notes: Those of you who have particularly delicate souls... you may want to give this one a miss.

Part I – Prologue + Chapter 1

Chapter 2 - 11 months later

"What the hell was that?" Jack asks, looking at the monitor over John's shoulder.

John presses a few keys and frowns. "Don't know. Something big. Look at that spike…" He points at the screen. "Bristling with Sigma radiation."

"Can you get a location?" Jack asks.

John types in some data and the coordinates appear on the screen. "Whatever it is, it's forty thousand feet above ground, and it's not moving," he murmurs.

"A spaceship?" Jack asks.

John shakes his head. "The energy readings are all wrong. It doesn't appear to have any sort of engine."

"Then how can it be suspended forty thousand feet above ground?"

"It's not suspended," Gwen interjects.

Jack moves over to her station. "What do you mean?" he asks, and then looks at Gwen's monitor. "That's today's UNIT briefing," he says, then starts reading through it. "No way…" he says after a minute.

"Hey, share with the group, will you?" John yells over to them.

Gwen rolls her chair back to look at him. "The Valiant is passing above us more or less now. This thing, whatever it is, landed on the Valiant."

Jack looks at Gwen and then at John and frowns. "Coincidence?" he asks.

Gwen shrugs. "Let's give them a call up there," she offers.

Jack nods. "Get in touch with the Captain, his name is Atkins, and ask him what's going on. I'm going upstairs to find Claire."

* * *

Jack feels a shiver go down his spine when he steps off the plane and onto the Valiant's landing platform. He didn't expect to find himself back on this ship so soon. Behind him, Claire is surveying their surroundings. She looks unimpressed, but then, Jack thinks, that's how she usually looks. With her shades on, subtle differences are hard to detect.

A man in UNIT uniform approaches them. Jack wants to remind Claire to keep a low profile, but then he notices that she has her earphones on and is making an effort to ignore him completely, so he doesn't bother.

"Lieutenant Stevens," the man introduces himself and Jack nods and shakes his hand.

"Captain Jack Harkness. What have you got?" he asks. If Stevens is in any way bothered by the fact that Jack refrains from introducing his young companion, or by her purple hair and nose ring, he shows no sign of it.

"The object is about fifteen feet in diameter. It's some sort of rock with a high metallic content," Stevens says as he starts leading them into the ship. "Our scanners show that it's hollow, but can't recognize the content." They take a left turn into a narrow hallway.

"Did you try to get inside it?" Jack asks.

"We're working on it. Our head of Operations and Strategy is taking care of the situation personally." They take a lift down to sublevel four, and emerge into a spacious hanger. A large singed rock is sitting in the middle, surrounded by half a dozen people who seem to be assembling something around it. Jack whistles as he takes in the size of the thing.

Beside him, Claire takes off her earphones and tilts her head slightly, as if she's trying to listen to something only audible to her.

"I'm surprised that thing didn't break the ship apart," Jack comments.

"We have a gravity field generator on board," answers Stevens. "It was activated automatically the moment our radar detected the rock, and slowed the descent."

Jack is about to respond when the lift doors open behind them. Stevens turns around and nods. "Commander Jones," he calls.

Jack turns around and has to struggle to keep his jaw from dropping in shock. "Ianto?"

At his tone, Claire turns around as well. Jack's eyes roam over the younger man, whom he's not seen for nearly a year. Ianto is wearing black slacks, a grey shirt and a UNIT jacket. His hair looks a little different, with a few locks falling over his forehead.

Ianto doesn't seem nearly as shocked as Jack is when he looks his former boss up and down.

"Jack. It's been a while," he says genially, stopping a few feet away. His eyes stray to Claire who's looking between him and Jack with a somewhat curious expression. He raises an eyebrow and looks back at Jack. "New recruit?" he asks.

Jack is still staring at him, somewhat nonplussed. "What?" he asks, startled, then finally seems to shake off his daze. "Oh, right! Yes…" he says, now all business again. He looks over at Claire. "This is Claire Tally."

Ianto nods at her and introduces himself. She smiles back, then pushes her sunglasses a little higher up the bridge of her nose. Ianto then looks beyond her at the large rock. "Ah, the laser gun is almost ready." To Jack's questioning look he adds, "Our scanners show that the rock is hollow, but we can't drill through it; the metallic compound is very dense. We're trying lasers now."

"Do you mind if we run a few scans?" Jack asks.

"Be my guest. It'll take at least another half an hour before they get it open."

Jack takes out the scanner but hesitates for a few seconds, looking at Ianto again. "Actually," he starts awkwardly, "Claire can do the scans. Is there somewhere we can go to... catch up?"

Ianto looks at Claire a bit sceptically but finally nods. "My office?" he suggests.

Jack hands the scanner to Claire, who looks none too happy but takes it anyway and starts towards the rock. "Thanks," Jack calls after her, and seems mostly resigned when she ignores him. "Lead the way," he tells Ianto.

Ianto turns to Stevens. "Let me know as soon as they get it open," he says.

Stevens nods. "Of course, sir."

Ianto signals Jack to follow him and proceeds to lead him through a maze of corridors and into a spacious office with a large window showing the night sky. Jack eyes the title on the door ('Ianto Jones' and below it 'Head of Operations and Strategy') before closing it behind him.

"Office with a view," he comments, looking outside.

Ianto goes over to a mini bar and takes out a couple of water bottles, handing one to Jack, who nods in thanks. "Comes with the title," he replies with a shrug.

"That's quite a promotion from 'Diplomatic Affairs'," Jack says. "A quick one, too… been sleeping with the boss?" he jokes.

Ianto blinks. "Old habits die hard," he says.

Jack frowns. "Seriously?"

Ianto just looks at him, his face unreadable, before taking a sip from his water. "How've you been, Jack?" he asks.

Jack clears his throat and turns around, suddenly fascinated by the bookshelf. "Never better."

"And Torchwood?"

"The same, more or less." Jack's mouth twitches. "The archives are a mess…"

"My replacement isn't big on filing?"

Jack turns to look out the window again. "You don't actually have a replacement… well… Claire sits in the tourist office most of the time, but confronted by paperwork she runs screaming. Not to mention cleaning…"

Ianto smirks and walks around the desk. "Hardly shocking… What is she? Fifteen?" he asks before sinking into the large executive leather chair.

"Seventeen. She's… uh… special." Jack looks suddenly uncomfortable, and changes the subject. "So… Gwen came back from maternity leave," he supplies.

Ianto nods. "I know. We… email."

"Oh," Jack says.

There are several long seconds of awkward silence, and finally Jack clears his throat. "What are you doing here, Ianto?"

Ianto looks away from him. "I'm doing quite well, as you yourself said."

Jack shakes his head. "I thought you wanted out. A desk job. Normal life. A family, maybe. I…" he pauses. Sighs. "I let you go, because I wanted you to have those things. Because I thought you wanted them."

"I thought I did too," Ianto says quietly.

Jack looks at him searchingly for a moment, then something in his eyes shifts. "I'm guessing after getting used to saving the world on a weekly basis, sitting behind a desk wasn't really keeping your interest. How long did it take you to request a transfer? A month?"

One corner of Ianto's mouth curves slightly upwards. "Three weeks, actually."

Jack huffs. "You could have come back. How is this better than Torchwood? And don't tell me you're here for the fancy job title, or the big office."

Ianto's eyes lock on his, and the answer is suddenly painfully clear.

"Ah. I see. It's me, then."

Ianto looks away and clears his throat, but doesn't try to deny it.

"It's been nearly a year. Are you really still angry?" Jack asks, his voice not quite steady.

Ianto shakes his head. "I was never angry at you," he says gently.

Jack looks at him questioningly.

"I'm not blind, Jack. You were a mess when you left. And then you came back and you were… better."

Jack's shifts, his posture turning defensive — arms folded across his chest and shoulders hunched.

"I don't know what exactly happened with your brother," Ianto continues. "Mostly because you wouldn't talk about it. And I don't know what the Doctor did for you that Gwen and I couldn't. But it obviously helped."

Jack looks away, face set in a scowl. "If you weren't angry, why did you leave? And more importantly, when are you coming back?"

Ianto sighs, then gets up slowly and walks to the window. "I… don't think I'm coming back."

"Why the hell not?" Jack asks, not bothering to hide his frustration, and then adds more gently, "If you don't want to be… with me… anymore, I can deal with that. It'll be purely professional."

Ianto turns around and smiles. "Jack, you… I don't think you realize what you are, to the people around you." He shakes his head and looks at his feet. "Captain Jack Harkness, a larger than life hero. You shine bright enough to light up the lives of everyone you touch..."

Jack's obvious surprise at the words is gradually replaced by a frown. "I'm foreseeing a 'but' coming up soon…"

Ianto folds his arms across his chest, unconsciously mimicking Jack's posture. "It's like a moth to a flame, isn't it? If one gets too close to you, one gets… burned."

Jack visibly deflates, blinking rapidly a few times. Ianto takes a few steps towards him, stopping just short of touching. "I didn't mean…" he tells Jack, "It's not your…"

"I get it," Jack interrupts. "I'm not here to whine. If you think it's in your best interest to stay here…"

Ianto just nods and they both fall silent for a few moments.

"Tell me there's a bright spot in all of this," Jack says finally, resigned.

"Well…" Ianto smiles tentatively. "That beauty behind you is my brand new Marlinc espresso machine. In less than three minutes I can make you the best cup of coffee you've ever tasted."

Jack lets out a startled laugh and is about to respond when he hears a fragmented voice through his earpiece. Ianto's goes off simultaneously. Jack taps his a couple of times. "Claire? I didn't get that. Say again?" Her voice comes through again, still fragmented, but he manages to discern the words 'open' and 'alive'. "I'm coming," he tells her. Beside him, Ianto is already heading for the door.

Continue to Chapter 3

Part I – Prologue + Chapter 1

Torchwood Fic: They tell me it happened on a Wednesday (Jack/Ianto, Adult, Part I/III)

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 18:09:18 GMT

Title: They tell me it happened on a Wednesday
Word count: ~27,000
Rating/warnings: NC-17, for adult situations, sex, language, procreation and very bad things that happen to good people.
Characters/pairings: Mainly Jack/Ianto, but there are other characters and pairings that I'm not mentioning here so as not to spoil the story.
Spoilers: Up to "Exit Wounds".
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Thanks to the lovely used_songs and the brilliant smtfhw , for helping me make this story so much better!

Summary: "If someone had suggested to Ianto Jones two years ago that he'd end up leaving Torchwood voluntarily he would have laughed in their faces…"

Prologue

If someone had suggested to Ianto Jones two years ago that he'd end up leaving Torchwood voluntarily he would have laughed in their faces, or maybe referred them to his therapist. Funny, that, as she was the one who suggested it in the first place. At the time, he did laugh, but for an entirely different reason.

* * *

He was in pieces back then, just after Lisa died. In those first few days, the pain was so intense Ianto thought it would end up ripping him from the inside. He remembers passing the first days of his suspension staring at the bottom of a bottle of Scotch.

Jack came over to check up on him at one point, probably to make sure Ianto hadn't slit his wrists yet. He opened the door, just a crack, looked at Jack with tired, red eyes, told him to sod off and then shut the door again, picking up a fresh bottle of Scotch on his way back to the sofa.

On the fourth day, Ianto found some old painkillers in a kitchen drawer. He hadn't been looking for them, really, but the small plastic bottle felt almost like comfort in his hand, and when he downed three pills with a mouthful of Scotch, they provided just the sort of relief he was aching for.

Jack came by again at some point. Ianto wasn't sure how long it had been — everything was blurry back then. He must have passed out; too much to drink, too many pills, because he didn't hear the knocking, and, eventually, Jack just let himself in. Ianto came to when Jack slapped him. He had blearily looked up into Jack's stricken face, then looked around the dimly lit living room.

"It doesn't hurt as much, now," he mumbled before closing his eyes again, returning to nothingness.

The flat was empty when he woke up next. Jack was gone, and so were his drugs and alcohol. He dragged himself into the shower and only under the scalding water did the sharpness return, along with that terrible ache in his chest, which made him wish for numbness again. He didn't bother towelling off after, just wrapped his robe around himself, and stepped barefoot into the kitchen. Poured himself a glass of water, gulped it down, then poured another. Afterwards he sat at the kitchen table, staring off into space, the occasional drop of water from his hair coursing down his neck and making him shiver.

Jack let himself into the apartment then, not even bothering to knock this time around. He seemed somewhat relived to see Ianto in an upright position. Ianto mostly ignored him, reluctant to make conversation. Jack pulled out a business card, placed it on the table in front of Ianto, who glanced at it briefly and then away again.

"I don't need a shrink," he rasped.

Jack tried to convince him at first, telling him how good she was, that she regularly worked with UNIT, how he saw her himself once. When Ianto continued to ignore him, Jack said he'd make it an order if he had to.

Later, in her office, Ianto mused that if Jack could hear what Dr. Altman was saying, he probably would have regretted sending him to her.

"You're twenty three," she'd said. "You have your whole life ahead of you. Stay at Torchwood and you'll be lucky to see thirty. Look what this job did to you, Ianto. Get out while you can."

Ianto just laughed, told her it was too little, too late. That he was in it for life — as short as it might turn out to be.

He couldn't foresee then, of course, what would happen in the next two years. The events that would eventually lead him to take Dr. Altman's advice.

* * *

He remembers watching the CCTV footage several months later. Watching his boss running out of the base towards a blue police box. The others did not realize, of course, what this meant, and he was not about to enlighten them.

Months later, Jack told him, "I won't leave you again," when they were alone, on the floor of the hothouse, sweat drying on their naked bodies. Ianto believed him.

* * *

About a week and a half after Toshiko and Owen died, Ianto woke in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, feeling that something was wrong yet unable to put his finger on it.

He dressed quickly and drove to the Hub. The place was empty. Jack wasn't in his office or his private quarters. Then Ianto saw the note on Jack's desk. "Taking a short trip," it had read. "If everything works out as planned, I'll be back before you even read this. J."

Ianto didn't bother looking up the CCTV footage this time. He knew what it would show. He figured he should feel grateful Jack had actually bothered to leave a note this time around. He sat at Jack's desk until morning, wanting to believe Jack would come in at any second.

He didn't.

He told Gwen the truth when she came in, that Jack had gone with the Doctor. That he could be back at any moment. Gwen just thinned her lips, then suggested that he make a phone call.

Jack didn't return that day, or the next one, or the next.

* * *

Ianto never wanted to be the head of Torchwood Three. As it turned out, he was better at it than he could have possibly anticipated.

* * *

Martha joined them almost immediately. Her experience at UNIT had made her a truly gifted medic, as talented as Owen was, minus the bitter sarcasm.

Some days, Ianto missed Owen's sarcasm.

Gwen would have been the logical option for a leader. She took over things that first time Jack left them, and Ianto expected her to do it again, but Gwen had her own way of dealing with Owen and Tosh's death. She came to work one morning and told him and Martha that she was pregnant. She didn't say it in so many words, but it was clear that the new life growing inside her filled the void left by the ones they had lost.

The fact that Gwen was more or less banned from fieldwork after that left them with a severe shortage of manpower, which became even more pronounced during a particularly trying case, involving the crash of an alien ship, leaving six alien survivors on board. They weren't friendly.

Captain John Hart showed up at the height of the chaos. He was looking for Jack, naturally, and Ianto barely spared him a glance before telling him through gritted teeth (he was struggling to drag a sedated alien into a cell at the time) that Jack was nowhere to be found, and that he should really bugger off, because they were busy. As if to spite him, John stuck around, helping them out through the crisis, and proving more than adequate in handling the high-tech angle in the process. Ianto figured he must be losing his mind, when he later asked John to stay and work for them while he was waiting for Jack. Oddly enough, John agreed. By the following week, he was even calling Ianto by his name.

The people over at UNIT loved Ianto. After years of dealing with Jack, they cherished the opportunity to interact with a head of Torchwood Three who could carry on an entirely professional conversation in a polite manner and with no innuendo. They loved Ianto so much, in fact, that the director of UNIT, in one of their conversations, had offered him a job. Ianto, polite as ever, had asked him to put it in writing and promised to think it over.

Ianto was good at ignoring John's innuendoes. After all, he'd had more than enough practice at this with Jack. He gave John's flirting no thought at all, really, until the day he invited him into his bed. There was nothing special that day. The week was more or less typical for Torchwood, yet as they were leaving for the night, and John made one of his usual comments about how someone as pretty as Ianto shouldn't be going home alone at the end of the day, Ianto stopped in the process of rolling his eyes and turned to face John instead.

"Come with me, then," he'd said, and John grinned as he followed him home.

John smelled a little like Jack. He fucked a little like him too, and like Jack, he couldn't keep his mouth shut even for three seconds while they were fucking. Ianto started worrying that he was developing a fetish for arrogant, eternally horny time travellers, but the truth was that he was lonely. Lonely and unhappy, and despite the fact that Ianto didn't even like John most days, sleeping with him was proving to be an adequate distraction.

One night found him alone in the Hub, doing work that could easily have waited until the following day, because he was reluctant to return to an empty flat. That night, he got angry. Not at Jack, for leaving again, but at himself, for allowing himself to become so vulnerable. He vowed then, that he'd never let it happen again.

Continue to Chapter 1

Torchwood Fic: Staff Meeting (Jack/Ianto, Adult)

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:31:19 GMT

Title: Staff Meeting

Rating: Adult (NC-17)

Spoilers: None

Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.

Summary: Christening the new boardroom.

Notes: Takes place very early in season 2. This is a PWP. Yes, I finally wrote one. No angst, not plot, just shameless smut.

I was too embarrassed to have this beta'd, so please let me know if you find mistakes...

Staff Meeting by Marita C

Jack takes two steps into the empty boardroom and stops. He turns around and looks at Ianto standing in the entryway.

"Seriously? Here?" he asks in amusement.

Ianto swallows and nods somewhat stiffly.

Jack smirks, his eyes predatory. "Ianto Jones, you are just full of surprises," he practically purrs.

Ianto's face colors and he looks sideways as Jack comes closer to him. Jack takes his tie in his fist and tugs on it lightly as he leans close, his cheek brushing Ianto's and his lips ghosting over Ianto's ear. "Tell me… what was going through your head when you thought about this?" he asks huskily. "Did you imagine them sitting around the table?"

Ianto's breathy "Yes" makes Jack's smile widen. He takes a few backward steps, tugging Ianto along by his tie, and stops by the large meeting table. Jack turns his head to look at the empty chairs thoughtfully.

"Gwen likes to sit at the end," Ianto supplies quietly. "Tosh usually to her right. Owen chooses his seat according to which of them is more pissed off at him."

Jack smirks and turns back to look at him, his hands roaming down along Ianto's sides, then sliding under his jacket. "I bet they secretly want me to bend you over the table in the middle of a meeting too," he says before pushing Ianto's jacket off his shoulders and throwing it onto the closest chair.

Ianto's lips part and his breaths come out in little pants, a clear sign of his arousal. Jack reaches down and quickly unfastens Ianto's pants, then moves away and guides Ianto to lean forward with both hands on the table. He tugs on the younger man's pants and underwear until they're pooling at his feet, and Ianto kicks them away along with his shoes.

Jack then pauses to appreciate the view. Ianto's shirt and tie are still in place, the tail of his shirt brushing the top of his fine, exposed backside. Jack can't help reaching a hand and caressing a smooth ass cheek. "Did you imagine them watching, as I fuck you like this?" he murmurs. "Or maybe…" With a graceful slide, Jack falls to his knees behind Ianto.

Ianto draws in a sharp breath as he feels Jack's tongue on him. Then in him. "Oh, God…" he moans loudly, and then lets out a stream of curses in Welsh as Jack starts fucking him with his tongue.

In the corner of the room the red light of the CCTV camera blinks regularly. Ianto's eyes are inevitably drawn to it, and despite the fact that he knows the footage will be erased before the night is over, the though that they are being recorded makes his cock jump and swell almost painfully.

After s few minutes Jack pulls back, looking smug. "Yeah, I can definitely see that becoming part of our meeting routine," he says as he climbs to his feet.

Ianto looks at him over his shoulder, face flushed. "You'd probably expect them to take notes and make suggestions."

Jack chuckles and turns Ianto to face him, "Now that's a nice imagery…" he says, pushing Ianto backwards until he's sitting on the edge of the table.

Jack reaches into his pocket and takes out a condom and a sachet of lubricant. He hands them to Ianto, then quickly pushes the braces off his shoulders and unfastens his pants. Ianto already has the condom out, and a moment later he's rolling it over Jack's erection, then slicks him up. Jack groans loudly at the feel of Ianto's fingers easily sliding over his cock. He grabs Ianto's wrist after a moment to still him, then places a hand firmly in the center of Ianto's chest and pushes him back and downward.

"Is there a part in this fantasy where I swipe stacks of papers off the table?" Jack asks with a leer.

Ianto's back hits the table, and Jack uses his free hand to lift Ianto's thigh and place the younger man's leg over his shoulder.

"There's nothing sexy about making a mess out of meticulously organized files and reports," Ianto replies sternly. "Particularly seeing as I am the one who – Oh Jesusfuck…" Ianto's back arches as Jack slides into him with one long thrust.

"You were saying?" Jack grits out, clearly fighting for control.

"I… was?" Ianto replies, then lets out a delighted laugh as Jack promptly gives up his attempt to go slow and starts fucking him earnestly, one hand holding Ianto's thigh tight against his chest, and the other gripping his hip for leverage. Ianto reaches sideways with both arms, holding on to the edges of the table.

"…this what you had in mind?" Jack hisses through clenched teeth.

Ianto grins and rolls his head back to look over at the empty chairs in the other end of the table. "More or –ah – less…" he breathes.

Jack leans forward over him, changing the angle slightly, and Ianto moans loudly and reaches down with one hand, wrapping it around his pulsing erection.

Jack glances down and watches the head of Ianto's cock disappearing into his fist repeatedly. The sight sends a jolt of arousal all the way into his already impossibly hard cock, and with a strangled cry he explodes, his whole body tensing and then shuddering.

Ianto's hand speeds up between them, and Jack reaches forward and pulls Ianto up and towards him by his tie. He kisses him deeply, not stopping as the younger man moans harshly into his mouth and spills over both their shirts, his ass tightening around Jack's sensitive cock.

* * *

"You realize, of course, that I won't be able to hold a meeting in this room anytime soon without getting seriously distracted," Jack says a bit later, as Ianto is tying his shoelaces.

Ianto straightens up and reaches for his jacket. "We've practically shagged in every part of the Hub already… what's one more room?" he retorts.

Jack looks thoughtful for a moment. "Not every part," he says, and the look that slowly creeps into his eyes makes Ianto a little nervous. "I've just thought about the perfect spot for round two."

Ianto's eyes narrow. "Lead the way," he says carefully.

Jack grins.

* * *

"Please tell me that this is a joke."

"What? We can totally do it in here."

"…"

"What?"

"You scare me sometimes."

"Come on, Ianto, where is you sense of adventure?"

"Jack."

"Mmm?"

"You are insane."

"…"

"As in mentally ill. I'm going home."

"Ianto… don't be like that."

"…"

"Ianto…?"

-end-

Author's note: Okay. I'm done venting through porn. Really. I hope to finally be able to finish my epic fic of doom now. Comments always help my muse - show me some love, people... please?

Torchwood Fanvid: Shadowman

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 00:01:35 GMT

Title: Shadowman

Music: "Shadowman" by K's Choice
Characters: Mostly Ianto, some Ianto/Jack
Spoilers: Seasons 1 and 2.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.

Notes: Ianto. Pain and misery. Jack is his Shadowman, sort of... This is pretty dark and depressing, like everything else I've created lately...

Download Shadowman in WMV format (15 MB)

Download Shadowman in MP4 format (30 MB)

Download Shadowman in AVI format (60 MB)

Watch Shadowman in crappy quality/aspect ratio, and piss on all my hard work over at youtube

Dear Mr. Chris Carter (X Files movie rant)

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 23:30:16 GMT

Dear Mr. Chris Carter

A brilliant doctor (let's call her Scully) has a patient diagnosed with a rare disease. There's an experimental treatment for said disease, based on intrathecal stem cells transplantation. The doctor wants to learn more details about the experimental treatment. What should she do?

Option # 1 : Log into a medical database (*cough* Medline *cough* ) and look at some recent relevant scientific papers, then contact an expert.

Option # 2: Google up "STEM CELL RESEARCH".

For the love of all that is holy, Chris, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?

Okay. Now that I got that out of the way, you know that scene with Mulder and Skinner at the end? I could see you winking at me during that scene. It made me laugh. Thank you.

(GOOGLE????)

Torchwood Fic: Shades of Ash (Jack/Ianto, Adult)

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:23:00 GMT

Title: Shades of Ash

Rating: Adult (NC-17)
Spoilers: Up to "Exit Wounds".
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Summary: "It's been like this since the day they lost half their team… Ianto doesn't know all details… but it must have been really fucking awful to have left him in this state…"

Notes: Takes place post "Exit Wounds". This is somewhat dark and depressing. On the upside, there's sex.

Thanks: To my beta, used_songs

Gwen towels her hair dry, and then starts pulling on some clean clothes.

She winces a little as her shirt snags on the gash in her arm.

Were Owen still alive, he'd have insisted on stitches, but as it was, she'd sat down as Ianto cleaned it up and closed it with several butterflies. Luckily for her, Ianto was obsessive compulsive enough to do it perfectly, and she doubts it'll even scar.

After putting her shoes on, she goes in search of her colleagues. Jack had dropped her and Ianto off in the hub earlier and took off to deal with the victims' families. She wonders if he's back yet.

It's past midnight, and as she wanders through the seemingly empty hub, she's reminded of another late night visit, not long ago. Gwen glances up towards the hothouse, and shakes her head a little when she finds it dark and empty.

Ianto was probably more traumatized than she was that night. She doubts he'd let Jack come anywhere near him before making sure she'd left for the night.

Gwen finally finds Ianto in the small room behind the Tourists Office, sitting on the settee and watching the news. His shirt is untucked, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and he's given up on his jacket and tie entirely. He looks up when she walks in and Gwen thinks he looks about as tired as she feels.

"Jack isn't back yet?" she asks softly.

"On his way," Ianto replies, and moves slightly to one side as she comes to sit next to him. She leans against him slightly, and he wraps his arm around her shoulder. Gwen sighs and some of the tension leaves her. Ianto smells nice. Familiar.

"Did they say anything?" she asks, gesturing at the television.

"Nothing," he replies. "I guess we're getting better at covering up our fuckups."

"It wasn't technically our fault, this time," she comments.

Ianto sighs. "Lately everything feels like it is."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," she says. They watch the screen silently for a few minutes.

At a rustle from the bead curtain, both look up to find Jack leaning in the doorway.

"Hey," they say in unison.

"Hey," Jack says back. There's tension coming off him in waves.

"How did it go?" Gwen asks.

"As well as can be expected," he replies levelly. His expression, set between a frown and a glare, unsettles her. Even more so, because it seems to be directed at Ianto.

Jack clears his throat. "It's late, Gwen. You should go home. I'm sure Rhys is worried," he says in that same controlled tone, all the while keeping his eyes trained on Ianto.

Gwen glances between the two of them, suddenly feeling out of place.

"Um…" She stands up and picks up her bag. "I'll see you tomorrow, then," she says a little awkwardly.

***

"Tactful," Ianto comments once they hear the door clicking shut behind Gwen. "You nearly sent her running."

Jack shrugs dismissively. "I really needed her gone. She'll get over it."

Ianto turns off the television and stands up slowly. The sudden silence feels heavy in the room. "Your place, or mine?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Here is fine," Jack replies, face impassive.

Ianto finds it slightly harder to breathe, suddenly.

Oh, what he'd give right now, for one of Jack's innuendoes or playful smirks. But he hasn't seen one of those in a while. These days when Jack comes to him it's not for fun, but for something else. A distraction, perhaps. It's been like this since the day they lost half their team. The day Jack put his brother in the freezer. Ianto doesn't know all details about everything that had happened that day, and Jack refuses to talk about it, but it must have been really fucking awful to have left him in this state.

Jack pushes off the doorframe and takes off his coat, leaving it on a nearby chair, then proceeds to take off his holster and utility belt.

Ianto watches him throughout, silent and still. When Jack's ankle holster finally drops to the chair, Ianto comes closer. Their eyes meet and hold, as Ianto pushes the braces off Jack's shoulders, and then begins to work on his shirt buttons. Jack reaches for Ianto's belt, unbuckling it quickly and then reaching for the zipper

Ianto stills Jack's movements with one hand on his wrist, and then leans in to kiss him. Jack's lips are soft and pliant under his, but he's not actively returning the kiss. After a few more seconds Ianto starts feeling like Jack is just humoring him. He pulls back, frustrated.

Some emotion he cannot recognise crosses Jack's face briefly, before he goes blank again. Ianto moves to unbutton Jack's shirt the rest of the way, and then starts working on his pants as Jack pulls both shirt and undershirt off.

When Ianto slips his hand in to rub Jack's cock through his briefs, Jack sighs and closes his eyes.

"I…" Jack starts, but trails off.

Ianto stops stroking. "Mmm?" he asks.

Jack draws in a deep breath and pulls away, taking a few steps into the room and toeing off his shoes in the process. His pants and underwear follow, and once he's naked he walks over to the desk and leans forward on it with both hands, looking back at Ianto with clear intention.

Ianto doesn’t need any more prompting. He walks over to his bag, resting against the settee, and takes out a condom and lubricant. He doesn't bother taking off his clothes, just unzips his pants and pushes them down his hips along with his underwear. He strokes himself once, twice, then carefully rolls on the condom.

"Go on, I'm good," Jack urges, looking at him over his shoulder.

Ianto looks up briefly, then comes to stand behind him. He slicks himself up quickly, and uses one hand to guide his cock while resting the other on Jack's lower back. Jack tenses up as Ianto presses against him, and for a moment Ianto isn't sure if this is going to work. He pauses and rubs Jack's lower back slowly.

Jack takes a deep breath, lets it out, and some of the tension leaves him. He pushes back just as Ianto pushes forward again, and then Ianto is sliding inside, one continuous motion, not stopping until his hips rest against Jack's backside. Jack lets out a soft moan.

Ianto closes his eyes, taking several shallow, ragged breaths. He pulls out halfway, then pushes back in.

Jack grunts, then bends lower, supporting himself with his elbows against the desk, and leans his forehead on his forearms.

Ianto finds a rhythm, and for a while the only sound in the room is their labored breathing and the slap of their bodies. He can recall a time when Jack wouldn't shut up during sex, when he had to find creative ways to keep Jack's mouth occupied in order to be able to concentrate on the main event. Ianto never thought he'd be missing it, that this silent fucking would prove so much more distracting than the constant jabber.

"Harder," Jack hisses. Ianto uses both hands now to get a firm hold on Jack's hips, and starts slamming into him, no longer holding back. His eyes, only half open, come to rest on the large black stereo sitting on the desk to his left. It used to be Owen's and still has one of his CD's inside. Ianto can't remember which one it is, but he remembers liking it. He figures anything will be better than this silence, and reaches one hand to switch it on. Unfortunately, he's a little uncoordinated, and flicks the switch to 'FM' instead of 'CD'.

Ianto freezes, completely horrified, as Abba's "Dancing Queen" comes blaring out of the stereo. Jack's head snaps up, startled.

When he recovers from the shock, Ianto slams his hand on the off button, and the room is once again plunged into silence. The hilarity of the situation hits them simultaneously, and they both crack up.

Ianto leans his forehead against Jack's back, trying to get himself back under control. "Sorry…" he says somewhat sheepishly, thinking that he couldn't have found a worse way to kill the mood. Then again, there wasn't much of a mood to start with.

Underneath him, Jack is still laughing.

Ianto pulls out of him slowly, and then peels off the condom. By the time Jack turns around, he's down on his knees, and wastes no time before taking Jack's cock into his mouth.

Jack groans and threads the fingers of his right hand through Ianto's hair. "Yeah, this works for me too…" he grits. His eyes fall shut and he rocks into the younger man's mouth.

Ianto uses one hand to stroke behind Jack's balls, and then proceeds to push two fingers deep into him, while at the same time moving his head forward and taking Jack's cock into his throat.

Jack lets out a strangled cry, his body going rigid, and in the next instant he's coming down Ianto's throat.

Ianto swallows around him, and when the hand fisted in his hair finally goes lax, pulls away gently. When he looks up, he finds Jack staring at him with a mix of shock, awe, and… something else.

"I forgot… you could do that…" Jack says softly.

Ianto gives him a slightly questioning look and stands up. He's about to remind Jack that he's the one who taught him how, but Jack just pulls him close and kisses him deeply. In sharp contrast to their earlier kiss, this one is primal, messy and passionate. Ianto moans softly and lets himself melt against Jack's body. Jack keeps one hand around Ianto's waist and, never breaking the kiss, reaches down and wraps his fist around Ianto's erection. He jerk him with sure, firm strokes, and soon, Ianto pulls away from the kiss, gasping, and buries his face in the crook of Jack's neck as he shudders through his orgasm.

Jack keeps his arms around him until he catches his breath, then slowly lets them drop to his sides. "Thank you," he says when Ianto pulls back to look at him, and then leans in to brush his lips softly along the corner on Ianto's mouth.

"It was my pleasure," Ianto replies with a little smile. He stands back and watches as Jack starts collecting his clothes and pulling them back on. "Jack…" he says as Jack starts buttoning up his shirt.

Jack looks up. "Hmm?"

Ianto hesitates, frowning a little. "You got out, didn't you?" he asks. At Jack's questioning look, he tries again. "Once they left, John and Grey... You dug yourself out and came back here… right?"

Jack's hands falter for a fraction of a second on the shirt buttons, but then he gives Ianto a tight smile. "Yeah, I did," he says.

As he goes to pick up his weapons and coat from the chair, Ianto's frown deepens. He looks as if he's about to pursue the matter further, but then reconsiders. He nods, mainly to himself, and says a quiet "Okay."

Then he starts refastening his own clothes.

Torchwood Ficlet: One Too Many (rated R)

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 04:13:26 GMT

Title: One Too Many

Rating: R for language

Characters: Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Tosh. Implied Jack/Ianto and Gwen/Rhys.
Spoilers: Season 1

Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Summary: Another game style 'Who was your last snog' goes horribly wrong.

Timeline: Takes place somewhere in season 2, when everyone is alive and well.

Thanks: To used_songsfor the quick beta!

The pub is moderately crowded for a Friday night, but not too noisy.

"… and for the next twenty four hours all I could think was 'holy fuck, I've just had sex'. It was pathetic, really." Owen finishes the story, then takes another sip from his drink.

Gwen leers at him. "Well, fortunately for you, you've learned to last for longer than twenty five seconds," she says.

"And you know it," Owen tells her with a meaningful look. Tosh, Gwen and Ianto all roll their eyes. "So, your turn. How well did Rhys do on your first time?" he asks.

"He was fantastic," Gwen replies in earnest.

Tosh smiles at her brightly. "Really?"

Gwen laughs. "No. Not even close. We were both completely pissed. He could barely get it up, and once he did it was probably dreadful. I say probably because the next morning I could barely remember any of it."

Owen huffs, and Tosh just shakes her head and drinks. The four team members are working on their fourth drink for the night, each experiencing slightly varying degree of intoxication.

"So what about you?' Gwen asks, elbowing Ianto lightly. "Tell us what your first time with Jack was like?" she says with a mischievous grin.

Ianto rolls his eyes. "Never," he says. "I could tell you about the girl who crawled into my sleeping bag in eleventh grade," he says.

Gwen shakes her head. "Uh uh. You're not getting away so easily. You already told me about that time he convinced you to shag on the roof…" she says with a giggle.

Ianto shakes his head stubbornly again, which makes the room spin around him slightly. He probably shouldn't have had that last drink.

"Come on, teaboy," Owen says. "Don't be a spoilsport. Spill."

Ianto glares at him for a few seconds, then glances at Gwen and Tosh.

"Fine," he snaps, and then frowns into his glass. "It was my second week on the job and I had my girlfriend stashed in the basement." His tone is light, yet heavily tinged with irony. "Seeing as I practically threw myself at Jack in an attempt to get him to hire me, I could hardly say no when he propositioned me, nor tell him that I've never done this before. So I played along, and seeing as Jack is, well, Jack, it wasn't un-enjoyable, and once it was over I went home and spent most of the night throwing up and wishing I was dead," he finishes mock-cheerfully

No one speaks for several long moments.

"Jesus fuck," Owen says finally, and when Ianto looks up at him the doctor is gulping his drink down like there's no tomorrow.

Ianto then glances at Tosh and Gwen and finds them staring back at him with expressions of shocked horror.

He smiles tightly at them. "Refill?" he asks. He doesn't wait for a reply, just gets up and goes over to the bar, mentally calculating Retcon dosages on the way and swearing to never, ever get drunk with his teammates again.

Back at the table, Gwen covers her face with her hands. "I never learn."

Owen snorts. "Next time suggest we all share childhood memories. I bet he'd tell us how his uncle raped him."

Gwen makes a disgusted sound and Tosh kicks Owen hard under the table.

Torchwood Fic: Matters of Trust (Jack/Ianto, R, part 6/6)

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:42:37 GMT

Title: Matters of Trust

Rating: R
Spoilers: Up to 2x12 "Fragments".
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Summary: Trust is a crucial part of a relationship. Apparently, so are lies, pretence and deception.

Notes: Takes place sometime in late season 2, before "Fragments". This idea struck me as I was leaving work one day, and made me grin like a crazy person all the way home. I can't help it – angst makes me happy (they're just so pretty when they're miserable…)

Thanks: To Stella, my wonderful beta ( smtfhw )

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Chapter 6

"Breathe, will you?" Owen tells the couple staring horrified at the little screen. "He's wearing a vest."

Gwen shakes her head. "At this range…" she trails off.

"Do you see any blood?" Owen asks, exasperated.

"No blood," Jack says shakily, yet he's still unable to take his eyes off Ianto's unmoving form on the floor.

Jack's earpiece crackles as Jay calls him again. "You will tell me how to fix the distorter, or I will kill these people one by one," he says coldly. On the screen, his expression looks completely insane.

Behind Jay, Jack sees Ianto stir, his eyes opening fractionally. He releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Jay, you must calm down. I'm getting the blueprints for the transporter now. I'll tell you how to repair it, but if you hurt anyone else, we're through. Are we clear?" Jack speaks with a confidence he doesn't really feel.

Jay stops right in front of the camera and glares up at Jack. "I suggest you hurry," he answers, and disconnects the phone.

"Blueprints?" Owen asks sceptically.

Jack rolls his eyes. "I had to buy us some time. Do you have the photos we took of that thing?" he asks.

"Here they are." Gwen reaches behind her and hands him a manila envelope.

On screen it looks as if Ianto is trying to reach into the back pocket of his trousers. "What is he doing?" Owen mutters, staring at the screen.

Jack and Gwen squint at the screen as well. "Hey, Tosh?" Jack speaks into his earpiece.

"I'm right here," comes her reply.

"Can you enhance the picture? Zoom in on Ianto?"

The picture shifts quickly, and they see Ianto pull something small and metallic from his pocket.

"Is that a… paper clip?" Gwen asks.

Jack leans back in his seat and shakes his head in amusement as he sees Ianto starts working on the handcuffs. "I taught him everything he knows, you know," Jack tells them smugly. "His record with those is nineteen seconds. Timed him myself."

Owen rolls his eyes. "We really don't want to hear about your sex games right now. Or ever, for that matter."

Jack just grins, and returns the picture to its original state. They are relived to see that Jay still has his back to Ianto, and is completely unaware of what is going on. It takes Ianto nearly a minute to get free of the handcuffs, and they see a pained expression cross his face as he gingerly pushes himself up.

"We need to distract him somehow," says Gwen.

Jack nods and takes the pictures out of the envelope. "Tosh, call Jay," he says as he flips through them.

"Do you have it?" Jay's voice asks after a moment.

"Yes, I do," replies Jack.

In the background, they see Ianto pulling out the black 'pen' from his shirt pocket as he slowly gets to his feet.

"Jay, I need you to hold the distorter close to the camera, so that I can see the markings on the shell," Jack says.

Jay complies, taking a couple of steps closer to the camera and holding the transporter in front of him. They all hold their breath as they see Ianto taking advantage of the opportunity to sneak in behind him. Ianto snakes an arm around Jay's chest and grabs him tightly as he plunges the needle into his neck. Jay struggles and manages to knock Ianto to the floor, but collapses almost immediately, his gun clattering to the ground and sliding away from him.

"Let's go!" Jack says, and they scramble out of the SUV and run into the café. Gwen hurries to check on the hostages, as Owen and Jack kneel next to Ianto and Jay.

"You okay?" Jack asks Ianto. Ianto nods shakily, but moans in pain as Jack helps him to his feet.

Owen takes Jay's pulse and looks up at Jack. "He's stable for now, but we need to get him in a cell asap. I don't know how long he'll stay down."

***

Back at the hub, Ianto is on the bed in the autopsy bay, curled slightly on his side. His eyes are closed and he's taking shallow, painful breaths. Owen steps in, holding two x-rays up to the light and frowning. "Four fractured ribs," he mutters, shaking his head. "That must hurt like a bitch."

Ianto opens his eyes and glares at him. "You think?" he says.

Owen tsks at him, and reaches for a syringe. "Now, now… no need to get snarky." He draws liquid from a vial into the syringe, and then takes a different vial, and draws some more. "When this kicks in, you'll be singing a whole different tune."

He tugs on Ianto's waistband and sticks the needle in his hip. After disposing of the syringe, he sits down on the small swivel chair by the bed and picks up the x-rays again, studying them closely. Ianto's breathing slows and his body visibly relaxes in a matter of minutes. "Can you sit up?" Owen asks.

Ianto pushes himself up slowly, pleasantly surprised when instead of excruciating pain there is only mild discomfort. "I think I love you," he says as Owen helps him out of his t-shirt.

Owen snorts. "Save it, sweetheart." He runs his hands across Ianto's side and back, poking lightly in a few spots and making Ianto twitch. "This one could use taping," he says mostly to himself, and reaches for tape. When he's done, he takes out a bottle of pills from a drawer and places it on the metal tray by the bed. "You can take one of these every four hours," he tells Ianto, scribbling something on a chart. When there's no reaction he looks up to see Ianto staring off into space. He snaps his fingers in front of Ianto's face. "Hey, you with me?" he asks.

Ianto turns to looks at him, a little dazed and says "Hmm?"

Owen rolls his eyes. "Brilliant." He reaches for a black marker. "I've rendered you brainless." He scribbles the dose on the pill bottle instead.

Jack shows up at that moment, looking down at them from the upper railing. "How's he doing?" he asks Owen.

Ianto sends Jack a dazzling smile. "Wonderful," he replies before Owen does.

Jack raises an eyebrow, amused. "Hell, Owen… what did you give him?"

Owen turns in his chair to look at Jack. "The good stuff. I might've overdone it a little bit." He puts the pill bottle back on the tray and stands up. "Give him a week off, yeah? His ribs are a mess." Jack nods and Owen comes up to stand beside him. "What's up with our guest?" He asks.

Jack frowns lightly. "Tosh is about to use an electromagnetic pulse on him because the scanners showed increased levels of…" He pauses, seeming unsure. "Okay, she tried to explain it to me but it sounded mostly like gibberish. Go help her out, will you?" Owen shrugs and leaves.

Jack comes down the stairs and advances on Ianto, who's looking at his mangled suit jacket on a nearby chair. "I paid four hundred quid for that suit," Ianto says with a frown.

Jack smiles a little. "I'll get you a new one. We can put it on this month's expense report."

Ianto looks back at him, his eyes somewhat glazed over. "Alright," he says.

Jack's eyes rake over Ianto's bare torso, and he scowls as he sees the bruises already forming on the younger man's ribcage. He comes even closer, and rests a hand on Ianto's leg, just above his knee. Ianto blinks fast a few times, and moves his hand to rest on top of Jack's.

"It almost killed me, when he shot you," Jack says quietly, looking at Ianto steadily.

Ianto holds his gaze, and his mouth curves slightly upwards. "It almost killed me too," he retorts.

Ianto reaches out a hand and traces one of Jack's braces with the tips of his fingers. His hand moves slowly down to until it reaches Jack's waistband. He snakes a finger into one of the belt loops and uses it to pull Jack forward to stand between his legs, then leans in and kisses him.

Jack parts his lips willingly beneath Ianto's. He makes a contented noise in the back of his throat, and deepens the kiss, his hand coming to rest on the back of Ianto's neck, caressing gently.

They're both lost in the kiss and it takes a moment for the sound of a throat clearing to penetrate. They break apart and Jack looks up to see Owen leaning on the rail.

"Tosh's idea worked. We have one dead alien and one very confused officer Murphy downstairs," he tells them.

Jack nods. "Good."

"I'll need to run some tests before we retcon him and send him home. That means you two need to continue your happy reunion somewhere else." Owen tries to sound gruff and reproachful, but Jack detects a hint of a smile.

"That's fine. Go get him," Jack tells Owen. He looks back down to see Ianto reaching for his t-shirt. "Come on, I'll drive you home," he says.

Ianto hops down from the bed, and puts his shirt back on. He takes Jack's offered hand and they leave the hub, together.

Author's note: I'd like to thank all of you who've been reading and commenting on my stories so far – your wonderful feedback is what motivates me to keep writing!

Torchwood Fic: Matters of Trust (Jack/Ianto, R, part 5/6)

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:40:29 GMT

Title: Matters of Trust

Rating: R
Spoilers: Up to 2x12 "Fragments".
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Summary: Trust is a crucial part of a relationship. Apparently, so are lies, pretence and deception.

Thanks: To Stella, my wonderful beta ( smtfhw )

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Predictably, things start falling out of the sky just as everyone gets ready to leave at the end of that too long, too trying week. There are combined groans as the rift alarm goes off, and Jack informs them it's going to be a long night.

They reach the crash site, and thankfully find only one police car at the scene, and no crowd. Jack sends Ianto to find and question the first officer on the scene, and takes the rest of the team into the crater. They retrieve one unidentified alien artefact, and when Owen checks the scanner and determines that the area is clean, they wrap everything up.

Back at the hub, Tosh volunteers to stay with Jack and try to figure out the function of the alien device. The others seem grateful and are heading towards the exit when the phone rings. Jack picks up and as they hear his reaction, Gwen, Owen and Ianto resignedly take off their coats and settle back in.

Jack gets off the phone, looking grave. "We have a hostage situation," he says.

The team look at him questioningly. "Since when does Torchwood deal with hostage situations?" Gwen asks.

"Since the man holding the hostages claims he needs to get back to his home planet, and we stole his transporter," Jack answers pointedly.

"Crap," Owen volunteers.

"Quite," Ianto confirms.

"He's holding them at a transport café up on the A48. Detective Swanson said they have a live video feed from inside. Tosh, see if you can hook us up to that," Jack says.

Tosh is already fire clicking on the computer, and a minute later they have the feed up on the screen. The camera gives them a clear view of the inside of the café. They see a young man, two women and two little girls huddled in a corner by the toilets. A dark haired man in uniform is pacing from side to side in the centre of the room, clutching a gun.

"That's the officer I interviewed on site," Ianto says, looking closely at the monitor. "His name is Murphy."

"He's most likely been possessed by the alien," says Jack. "Did he act strange when you talked to him?"

Ianto shrugs. "He seemed a little confused. I figured it was the shock. Do you think he was already possessed at the time?"

"We won't know until we ask him," Jack replies and reaches for the phone again. "Yeah, this is Captain Harkness," he says after a moment. "Can you connect me directly to him?" He listens, then nods to them.

On the screen, they see the officer reach into his pocket and pull out a mobile phone. Jack presses a button on the phone, and the call goes on speaker. He gestures for the others to stay silent.

"Yes?" comes a hesitant voice.

"Hi there! This is Captain Jack Harkness from Torchwood. To whom am I speaking?"

"You can call me Jay. I am a soldier from Ramanan five."

Jack sees Tosh starting to search the Torchwood database. "Okay Jay. What is it that you want?"

"I must go back to Ramanan five at once. I need my dimensional distorter back. I saw you take it," Jay replies, sounding distraught. The team glance at the small device sitting on a nearby table.

"We meant you no harm. We’re more than willing to give it back to you and allow you to leave here, but first you must let these people go safely, including your host," Jack says.

They see Jay shaking his head on the monitor. "No. I know you people. If I let them go that will be it for me. You will bring the transporter to me."

Jack places both his hands on the desk and leans closer to the phone. "Listen to me, Jay…"

"No, you listen," comes the angry reply. They're startled when Jay looks directly at the camera as he speaks next. "Bring it to me, or these people will die. Shall I shoot one now to make my point more clear?"

Jack curses under his breath. "No! No! You made your point. I can be there in twenty minutes."

"No. Not you," replies Jay. Jack stops and exchanges looks with the rest of the team. "That polite young man who talked to me earlier. The one in the suit. Send him," Jay says.

Jack looks up at Ianto, clearly startled. "Absolutely not," he answers.

Jay is enraged. He walks towards the hostages who start screaming in panic, and points his gun at the head of one of the little girls. Owen's hand slams down on the speaker's mute button. "Jack, don't be stupid!" he says harshly. "Just give him what he wants, so that he'll get the hell out of there."

"He's right, Jack," Ianto says. "We can end this. No one has to get hurt. I'll be in and out of there in less than two minutes."

Jack stares at Ianto darkly. They hear the little girl scream as Jay cocks his gun, and see her hysteric mother trying to shield her. Jack quickly hits the button on the speaker again. "Okay Jay, okay. We'll do it your way."

Jay lowers his gun and nods at the camera. "Good. And just so we're clear, if I see a weapon anywhere, people will die."

"No weapons," Jack confirms. "You get ready for your trip home, now."

They see Jay put away his phone as the line goes dead. Jack looks up at Ianto. "That's the last time you're being polite to the locals," he says gruffly.

Ianto rolls his eyes. "Next time send Owen to talk to them, I'm sure you won’t have these problems then."

"Oi!" Owen interjects.

Jack ignores him, and points his finger at Ianto. "I hope you know there is no way I'm sending you in there unarmed."

"You have to," Ianto says simply.

"Jack, if he's just going to use that transporter and disappear, then maybe there's nothing to worry about." Gwen tries to calm him.

"That's a big if," Owen says.

Jack rubs his face. "We need a plan B," he says finally. "A gun may not be the best option here, as shooting the alien will kill the host as well."

There's a short silence. Owen suddenly grins and runs towards the autopsy bay. "I've got an idea," he calls out to them. He returns quickly, holding what looks like a black pen, which he presents to Jack with a smirk.

Jack looks at him questioningly but takes the pen. He inspects it for a moment, then presses the little button at the top. A small needle pops out. Jack nods. "Perfect," he tells Owen.

Owen nods "I'll fill it up with a strong tranquilizer."

***

There's a tense silence in the SUV as Jack slowly drives into the café’s car park. At his request, the police cars have moved out of range and are waiting half a mile up the road. Jack parks at a reasonable distance from the entrance. The blinds are drawn over the cafe's windows, and their only insight into what goes on inside comes from the small monitor of the SUV’s computer.

"Okay, Jack, I can see you on the car park camera." Tosh's voice sounds from their earpieces.

"Good," replies Jack. "Can you connect me to Jay again?" he asks.

"Already on it," Tosh says.

Jack turns in his seat to look at Gwen and Ianto in the back seat. "I'm ready," Ianto says, taking a deep breath.

Jack nods, then turns to Owen in the passenger seat. Owen hands him the transporter, and Jack hands it to Ianto. Ianto takes hold of it, but Jack doesn't let go. When Ianto looks at him, Jack hold his gaze. "You go in and out, no funny business," Jack says.

Ianto swallows, and nods. Jack lets go of the transporter and Ianto gets out of the SUV. "Jay, can you hear me?" Jack asks.

"I hear you. Is he coming in?"

"Yes," Jack replies before the line goes dead.

They watch on the screen as Jay walks to the front door and unlocks it. He then takes several steps back and points his gun at the door. Ianto comes in slowly, keeping both his hands plainly visible. They see Jay saying something and gesturing with his gun towards a table by the door. Ianto takes a step towards the table and gently sets the transporter on top. He turns back to face Jay, his hands in the air.

Jay reaches behind his back and pulls a pair of handcuffs from his belt. He throws them at Ianto, giving some sort of order. Ianto catches the cuffs, and they see him glance briefly towards the camera before he closes one cuff around his wrist, then places both hands behind his back and locks the other cuff in place.

"What is he doing?" Jack asks, unnerved. The others stare intently at the screen and say nothing.

They see Jay motioning with his gun again, and Ianto walks away from the door, stopping near the counter where the cash register is. Jay keeps him in sight as he slowly advances towards the transporter. He picks it up, smiling, and lowers his gun.

They all hold their breaths as they see Jay press a sequence of buttons on the transporter. Nothing happens. He does it again, and still nothing. Jack, Owen and Gwen tense as Jay yells something at Ianto, who shakes his head as he speaks and glances at the camera again, an anxious expression on his face. "Something is wrong. It's not working," Jack says.

They see Jay pulling out his mobile phone, and a moment later he's connected to Jack. "You did something to it! Tampered with it!" he screams manically.

"No, Jay! It must have been damaged during the crash," Jack replies, sounding more calm than he feels.

"You're lying!" Jay picks up his gun. "You tried to set me up!"

He sets his mobile phone on the table and points his gun at Ianto. Jack has time to scream, "Jay, NO!" before the alien squeezes the trigger and shoots Ianto three times, squarely in the chest.

Chapter 6

Torchwood Fic: Matters of Trust (Jack/Ianto, R, part 4/6)

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:38:34 GMT

Title: Matters of Trust

Rating: R
Spoilers: Up to 2x12 "Fragments".
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Summary: Trust is a crucial part of a relationship. Apparently, so are lies, pretence and deception.

Thanks: To Stella, my wonderful beta ( smtfhw )

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Ianto isn't sure at first what woke him up. He opens his eyes and slowly looks around his dark bedroom. Nothing seems out of the ordinary, and he's about to turn over and go back to sleep when he catches a soft flash of light in his peripheral vision. It's coming from his mobile phone, which is on the small table in the corner of the room.

Ianto sits up, rubs his face, then gets up and picks up the phone, flipping it open and looking at the small screen. The flashing text tells him that the rift alarm was triggered fifteen minutes ago. He frowns. If something serious was up, Jack would have called. But then, if it was nothing serious, Jack would have just turned off the alarm. Ianto sighs and looks at his watch. Four in the morning isn't such an unusual hour to get up for work, he figures. At least not for Torchwood. He reaches for a shirt.

***

At first glance the hub seems dark and deserted. The flashing red light of the rift alarm casts eerie shadows on the stone walls. Ianto turns it off and looks at the monitors. He sighs. An Arkan crawler tripped the proximity alert fifty minutes ago. Has he really just dragged himself out of bed for this? And where the hell is Jack?

He turns towards Jack's office, but stops dead after a couple of steps. Jack is sprawled on the sofa outside his office. Ianto takes a few steps in that direction. "Jack?" he calls out quietly. There's a soft snore, but no other reaction. Ianto takes in the mostly empty bottle of bourbon on the coffee table, and an upended glass on the floor. He sighs.

A soft scratching noise makes him turn to the right, where he's a little startled to find the pterodactyl perched quietly and looking at Jack's sprawled form with keen interest.

Ianto advances on her slowly. "He's the boss. You can't eat him. Sorry," he tells the creature quietly. The pterodactyl's eyes follow him as he walks over to the small refrigerator where they keep her food. He takes out a large piece of meat and squirts some 'barbeque sauce' on it. "Here you go," he calls as he throws the food towards the pterodactyl, who catches it in mid air and then takes off towards her nest.

***

Through a thick fog, Jack can feel a hand shaking his shoulder gently. As awareness creeps in, he tries to open his eyes, and immediately wishes he hadn't. It feels like someone is trying to push his brain out through his eye sockets. Jack groans in pain. His mouth is dry and his tongue feels swollen.

"Come on, sit up." Ianto's voice. Jack opens one eye carefully, and sees a beige sofa cushion. He opens the other one and sees the coffee table, the bottle of bourbon sitting on top. Right. He did this to himself. It's all coming back now.

Jack pushes himself very slowly into a sitting position. A glass of water appears in front of his face, and he takes it gratefully. He gulps down half of it, before looking up at the man standing next to him. Ianto is fishing inside a bottle of aspirin, not looking at him. "What time is it?" Jack asks hoarsely.

"It's six thirty," Ianto replies coolly and hands him a couple of pills. "You may want to get yourself fixed up before the others come in."

Jack tosses back the pills and drinks the rest of the water. "What are you doing here?" he asks, wiping his mouth.

"The rift alarm went off. Arkan ship... I dealt with it." Ianto takes the empty glass from him and turns away.

"Crap. I'm sorry," Jack mutters.

"It's fine," Ianto calls back. "Oh, and…" he turns to face Jack again. "Next time make sure the pterodactyl is locked up before you go on a binge. She was about to start nibbling on you when I got here."

Jack frowns. "She wouldn't do that. She likes me."

Ianto looks thoughtful. "It's possible I misinterpreted the situation and she was actually intending to mate with you," he replies.

Jack shudders. "Maybe we should look into getting her fixed," he suggests.

Ianto shakes his head and leaves.

Jack rubs his face tiredly, then drags himself to his feet and heads towards the showers. As he's taking off his clothes, he glimpses his face in the mirror and is appalled to discover he looks less lively than the average corpse.

The hot water revives him somewhat, and by the time he goes back upstairs he feels almost human again. He follows the familiar clinking sounds to find Ianto working his coffee magic. "So, as it turns out, the solution to all my problems wasn't at the bottom of that bottle," Jack says lightly.

Ianto glances at him briefly. "That's usually the case," he retorts. Jack stands there silently for a moment, looking at Ianto morosely. When Ianto hands him a cup, Jack takes it with one hand, and catches Ianto's fingers in the other.

"I miss you," he says softly. Ianto's eyes meet his own, and then he looks down at their joined hands. To Jack's relief, he's not trying to pull away. Jack swallows painfully. "Tell me what to do… to make things right again." His voice holds more than a tinge of desperation.

Ianto looks back up at him with a somewhat guarded expression. He starts to say something when the sound of the hub door opening makes them both jump slightly. They pull apart; the moment broken, as Tosh and Gwen walk in.

Ianto turns around to greet them with a slightly forced smile. "Good morning. Coffee?"

Chapter 5

Torchwood Fic: Matters of Trust (Jack/Ianto, R, part 3/6)

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:36:50 GMT

Title: Matters of Trust

Rating: R
Spoilers: Up to 2x12 "Fragments".
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Summary: Trust is a crucial part of a relationship. Apparently, so are lies, pretence and deception.

Thanks: To Stella, my wonderful beta ( smtfhw )

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Chapter 3

"Bloody hell! This thing won't die!" Gwen yells. "I must have hit it at least five times already." She's breathing hard, her back against the wall.

"Do you still have it in your line of sight?" Jack's voice comes from her earpiece. She glances around the corner carefully, gun raised.

"No, it must be heading in your direction," she answers, and starts moving towards the garage exit. Gwen hears gunshots, and starts running in their direction. She sees Jack outside, the creature on the floor at his feet, still moving. Jack curses as he rushes to reload his gun before the creature gets up again. Gwen reaches them before that and empties her clip into the thing's head. Finally, it remains still.

"You okay?" she asks Jack.

He nods and looks down at the creature with a grimace. He taps his earpiece. "Owen, get ready for an autopsy. We'll be there with the body in half an hour."

"Got it," Owen replies.

Just as they're re-holstering their guns, something happens. Jack and Gwen stare down with disgusted expressions as the creature's body slowly disintegrates until all that remains is fine dust.

"Well," Jack says flippantly, "This will make the cleanup easier, at least."

Gwen rolls her eyes and presses her earpiece. "Forget the autopsy, Owen. The thing's dust."

"Right. Get a sample, will you?" Owen asks.

Five minutes later they're back in the SUV, heading into town. "Feel like stopping for lunch?" Gwen asks.

Jack glances at her and shrugs. "Sounds good. Any special requests?"

Gwen smiles. "Surprise me."

They end up in a small French restaurant and are seated at a corner table by a window. It has started raining at some point, but somehow the gloom outside doesn't affect the warm and cosy atmosphere in the restaurant.

While they're waiting for their food Gwen catches Jack staring distractedly at the rivulets of water running down the window. It's rare to see his face so unguarded, and Gwen allows herself to just look at him for a couple of minutes.

Eventually she reaches out her hand and brushes his across the table. "Hey…" she says softly. Jack turns to look at her, smiling apologetically. "I gather there's nothing new on the Ianto front?" Gwen asks gently.

Jack's smile turns somewhat bitter. "You mean since he dumped me?" He shakes his head. "Not really."

Gwen tilts her head a little. "I have to admit I was surprised by how much you…" She pauses and seems to be rethinking what she is about to say. "I mean, it was obvious you cared for him, but…" she trails off.

Jack catches on. "You figured we were just screwing around?" he asks. Gwen flushes, but gives a small nod. "It started off like that, I suppose. There were… issues."

Gwen raises an eyebrow. "Trust issues?"

"Amongst other things. And just for the record, I set up the surveillance on his emails way back. I haven't accessed it in months," he says, defensively.

"It wasn't an accusation, Jack," she says gently. "You had your reasons, back then."

Jack nods, and hesitates slightly before continuing. "Anyway, when I left you, last year… it seemed to you that I was gone for ten weeks, but for me it was… longer." Gwen looks at him questioningly, but he shakes his head. "I don't want to go into it. The point is, I had a lot of time to think, and I was surprised to find myself thinking about Ianto… a lot. I guess I didn't expect to miss him as much as I did."

Gwen frowns. "Things between you didn't seem all that different after you came back."

Jack seems a little uneasy, and starts playing with the salt shaker. "They weren't, really."

Gwen's eyes widen. "You haven't told him any of it."

Jack shrugs. "It's… complicated," he says.

"Love is always complicated," Gwen retorts. Her eyes meet Jack's and she holds his gaze for a long, meaningful moment.

Jack scowls. "There aren't any 'happily ever afters' in my past, Gwen," he says soberly.

Gwen's face turns serious. "So you thought, what? That you were protecting Ianto by keeping things simple?"

Jack smiles bitterly. "Something like that, only now I know that there was nothing simple about it."

The waiter appears with their food then, and they lean back as he sets everything on the table. "Bon appétit," he says, smiling, then leaves.

"Have you talked to him at all, these past few days?" Gwen asks as she tucks into her food.

"Just work related stuff," Jack answers.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, he seems to be at least as miserable as you are."

Jack frowns. That doesn't make him feel better at all.

Chapter 4

Torchwood Fic: Matters of Trust (Jack/Ianto, R, part 2/6)

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:32:43 GMT

Title: Matters of Trust

Rating: R
Spoilers: Up to 2x12 "Fragments".
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Summary: Trust is a crucial part of a relationship. Apparently, so are lies, pretence and deception.

Thanks: To Stella, my wonderful beta ( smtfhw )

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Jack is wallowing. He's been at his desk all morning, trying to get some work done, but mostly staring off into space for long periods of time. Gwen came in at one point, giving him a sympathetic look and the final report on Gaines. After his non-too-gentle interrogation yesterday evening, Jack filled him to the gills with Retcon, probably enough to make the man forget everything that had happened to him since senior school.

The closed file is currently sitting on his desk, waiting to be archived. Judging by the fact that Ianto has been avoiding him ever since he came into work this morning, it'll be waiting for a while longer. At this point, Jack is relieved Ianto showed up at all. He glances down at the text he's been trying to read for the past hour with no significant progress. He presses his earpiece. "Hey, Tosh?" he asks.

"Yes, Jack?" He can see her looking at him from her workstation.

"Do you still have that Rogarrian translator?" he asks tiredly.

"It's down in the archives," she answers coolly.

Great. Jack sighs. The archives are Ianto's territory, and it would probably be a bad idea for Jack to ask him to go and find it for him. He has no doubt Tosh knows this, and is being deliberately unhelpful. He can't even bring himself to resent her for it; it just makes him feel more miserable.

"I'll go down and get it, then," he tells her with mock cheerfulness.

Somehow, he brings himself to leave the office and go downstairs. Looking around at the dozens of filing cabinets he starts thinking that this is probably a bad idea. Resignedly, he tries 'T' for 'translator'. There are eleven cabinets under 'T', and he opens one drawer randomly. He eyes the fifteen bags inside warily, each containing various artefacts. After five minutes of rummaging, he slams the drawer closed and curses.

"It's under 'R', for 'Rogarrian'," says a familiar voice from the doorway. Jack turns around, startled. Ianto heads over to a nearby cabinet and opens the second drawer from the top. He takes out the translator and hands it to Jack, keeping a considerable distance between them.

Jack takes the device silently and Ianto turns to leave. "Ianto…" Jack calls after him. Ianto stops, but keeps his back to Jack. "It was wrong of me, to jump to conclusions, yesterday, and-"

"Was it, really?" Ianto cuts in. Jack looks at him questioningly. Ianto turns to face him, his expression unreadable. "I lied to you from the first time we met," he says, and takes a step closer. "I flirted with you and got you to hire me, all the while hiding my true motives."

Jack shrugs. "Yeah, well… Love can make people do crazy things," he says, curious as to where this is going.

Ianto nods. "True. But, once you found out the truth, you also realized how good an actor I could be. How good I was at lying and pretending."

Jack swallows, but stays silent. Ianto has just summarized all the reasons behind Jack's distrust in two sentences.

"You know what? I am all those things," Ianto says, then takes another step closer to Jack. "But some things cannot be faked." His composure wavers slightly as he searches for the right words. "Like how loyal I am to this place, and to you, to the point where I would give my life for you, if it came to that. Or how completely I am in love with you." The last sentence comes out as a rough whisper. Ianto looks down for a moment, then back up at Jack, slightly more composed now. "The fact that you don't know these things by now… well…" He shakes his head.

Jack has rarely found himself rendered as utterly speechless as he is at this moment. He takes a step forward, but Ianto's raised hand stops him in his tracks. "No. We're done, Jack. We're… done." Ianto's voice shakes as he says this.

Jack doesn’t try to stop him from leaving.

Chapter 3

Torchwood Fic: Matters of Trust (Jack/Ianto, R, part 1/6)

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:19:07 GMT

Title: Matters of Trust

Rating: R
Spoilers: Up to 2x12 "Fragments".
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit.
Summary: Trust is a crucial part of a relationship. Apparently, so are lies, pretence and deception.

Thanks: To Stella, my wonderful beta ( smtfhw )

Chapter 1

Jack rolls his eyes and feels like smashing the phone against the wall. Some of the people at MI5 are so stupid. "I don't have time for this nonsense!" he hisses into the phone. "I want this taken care of today."

As the man on the other end of the line tries to placate him, he glimpses Tosh coming towards his office, her face grim. "Just tell McCain to get this done! I have to go," he says, and hangs up.

"We have a problem," Tosh says, closing the door behind her.

"What is it?" he asks, worried.

"I was running a checkup on our computer system and something popped up. Several files containing sensitive information have been compromised."

Jack leans back in his chair. "Someone hacked into the system?" he asks.

"That's just it," Tosh says, and lowers her tone a little. "The files were sent from inside the system, to an external address."

Jack's face darkens as he takes that in. Tosh is evidently suggesting someone from the team is involved. "Who owns the address?" he asks.

"That’s another interesting thing. I did the search and ran into a security barrier. My security clearance wasn't high enough."

Jack frowns. "Has that happened before?"

Tosh shakes her head. "Never."

"Well, let's see if my clearance will get us any further," he says, getting up. "And keep it between us for now," he adds, just before he opens the office door.

"Of course," Tosh assures him.

They go to Tosh's workstation. Tosh brings the page up, and Jack enters his security code. It's a relief when 'Access Granted' flashes once across the screen, and a profile loads on the page.

"Norman Gaines." Jack reads out the name, looking at the man's picture. "Who are you?" He scrolls down and his attention is immediately caught by a familiar word. "He was a Torchwood One employee. He survived the final battle." Jack knows this is bad news.

Tosh looks at him and frowns. "Why would Torchwood One want to spy on us?" she asks.

"Well, they used to have a slightly different agenda to ours, but that's not what I'm worried about," Jack answers, clearly bothered.

"What's up with you two?" Gwen asks, approaching from the autopsy bay. Owen is behind her.

Jack exchanges a brief look with Tosh, but then makes his decision. "Go up to the conference room for a minute. I want to show you something," he says and then presses his earpiece. "Ianto?"

"Yes, sir?" comes the quick reply.

"Can you come up to the conference room for a moment?"

"Of course," Ianto says.

"What are you thinking?" Tosh asks quietly.

Jack shrugs. "I'm not assuming anything yet. For now, I'm just going to keep watch and hope we're wrong." Jack sees Ianto going up the stairs. "Send this to the terminal upstairs," he orders, pointing at her monitor.

In the conference room Jack turns on the screen, all the while keeping his eyes on the three employees sitting around the table. "This is Norman Gaines. He's former Torchwood One." They take some time to study the screen. "Any of you recognize him?"

Owen and Gwen shake their heads. "No. Should we?" Gwen asks.

"His name rings a bell," Ianto says. "I may have seen him once or twice when I worked there, but we never interacted directly." He looks back at Jack. "Why are we suddenly interested in this guy?" he asks.

"Because he has developed a sudden interest in us," Jack replies. "I'll tell you guys more when I know more, but I want you to keep your eyes open for anything unusual," he adds.

"You mean, other than the regular unusual stuff that goes on here?" Owen asks.

Jack can't suppress a smile. "Exactly," he says, getting up. The others remain seated for another moment, exchanging curious looks, but eventually get up and go back to their work.

Jack goes downstairs and back to Tosh at the computer. "I found something," she says as he approaches. "We have a kind of Trojan in the system. It's gathering the information and sending it to Gaines at regular intervals."

"Can you get rid of it?" he asks.

"Shouldn't be too difficult. The question is how it got in."

Jack looks thoughtful. "If it's a virus, could it have been sent to one of us by email?"

Tosh shakes her head. "All the unsecured incoming communication, especially email accounts, is on a separate external system for this exact reason. Even if it was sent by email, it means the recipient deliberately transferred it to the internal system."

Jack nods. "Get rid of the virus first, and then try to track down the source," he orders, then leaves her to work uninterrupted.

Perhaps it was time for him and Norman Gaines to have a conversation, face to face. Jack mulls this over when Ianto shows up with a tray loaded with steaming mugs of coffee. "You're a godsend," Jack says, as he takes his mug from the tray, inhaling blissfully. Ianto smiles and moves on to hand the rest of the team their drinks. Jack's eyes follow him and he notices Ianto is wearing his overcoat. "Are you going somewhere?" he asks, as Ianto passes him on the way back.

"Just going to get some air," Ianto replies. "I'll be on my mobile." Jack looks after him with a frown as he leaves.

Jack takes a sip from his coffee and looks around the room. Tosh is completely engrossed in something on her computer screen, while Owen and Gwen are in the autopsy bay, going through paperwork. Jack steps over to a computer post and loads up their locator software. The tracker in Ianto's car shows that it's still parked. Ianto's mobile phone tracker, on the other hand, indicates that he's on the move, on foot, heading west along the marina.

Jack hesitates. Is it really unusual for Ianto to take a short break in the middle of the day? He tries hard to think back and remember such an occurrence, but can't be sure. Truth be told, he hasn't been paying much attention. Jack knows that what he thinks about doing may have serious implications. With a sigh, he logs off.

He takes another sip of his coffee, and leaves the mug on the desk. "Going out for a few minutes," he calls out to no one in particular and heads out, picking up his coat and GPS on the way.

Jack uses the GPS to track Ianto, ensuring he keeps a safe distance between them. At some point Ianto stops, the little dot on the screen immobile for several minutes. Jack closes the distance very carefully, trying to see without being seen. He hides in the shadows behind an old building when he spots Ianto standing by the rail. He's talking to someone, a man in a dark blue trenchcoat. Jack can't see his face. He circles the building from behind and emerges at a better angle.

When he manages to glimpse the man's face he feels a chill spreading in the pit of his stomach. Ianto is talking to Norman Gaines. For a moment, he refuses to believe his own eyes. “This can't be happening.” The mantra repeats itself in his mind. Hurt and confusion rage through him, and he leans against the wall, closing his eyes. “But you knew. You knew from the start,” a small voice inside him says, and suddenly he's seeing red, angry beyond reason at the thought that Ianto has betrayed his trust a second time, made a fool out of him.

Jack turns sideways to take another look at the two men. On closer inspection, he can tell Ianto is upset. The conversation seems far from friendly, and in his desperation, Jack clings to the hope that maybe, just maybe, this isn't what it looks like. His earpiece crackles, making him jump. "Jack?" Tosh's voice. "You need to get here right away." She sounds unnerved.

Jack takes a step back into the shadows. "I'll be right there," he says.

It takes him less than ten minutes to return to the hub. Once inside, it becomes clear that Tosh has already told Gwen and Owen what is going on.

"I found the source of the virus," Tosh says as soon as he reaches her desk. "You were partly right, before. It was sent as an attachment, by email." Jack sees the looks on their faces and doesn't need to hear the rest. "The recipient was Ianto. He transferred the virus into the system." Jack closes his eyes. He feels like breaking something.

"You don’t seem surprised," Gwen observes.

Jack shakes his head, looks down at his clenched fists. "I just saw him. He's been meeting with Gaines."

"I don't believe this!" Owen hisses.

Gwen sees the pained expression on Jack's face and winces in sympathy. "I'm so sorry, Jack."

The door to the hub slides open then, and Ianto steps in, heading straight in their direction. "You're not going to believe…" he starts, but trails off as he catches their expressions. "What happened?" he asks.

"How's your friend Gains?" Owen asks bitterly.

"Wha..?" Ianto looks at Owen, and then at the others, frowning.

"I saw you with him!" Jack hisses. "Did you let him know we were onto your little plan?"

"We know you put the virus he sent you into the system," Tosh adds.

"Okay." Ianto says very slowly. "Now would be a good time to say that I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You deny meeting him?" Jack asks, his eyes burning.

"I went out for a walk!" Ianto says, exasperated. "Suddenly Gaines pops up out of nowhere and starts saying weird things, not unlike what Tosh was just saying. He said that now I've proven I’m still loyal to Torchwood One he knew he could approach me, and then he went on with the whole 'turn over to the dark side' routine. By that point, I told him to sod off, and came back here." He looks from Gwen, to Owen, to Tosh, and finally his eyes rest on Jack.

Ianto's body goes rigid and his face drains of colour, making his eyes seem unnaturally dark. "You don't believe a word of what I just said," he says softly. It's not a question, but an observation.

Jack's expression is hard, but his insides are in turmoil. He wants to believe everything Ianto has said, but is unable to let go of his fears and doubts. He's distracted by a gasp, coming from behind him.

"Oh, God! He's telling the truth, Jack," Tosh says, looking intently at her computer screen.

Jack turns to her. "What?!"

Tosh shakes her head. "I just accessed his email account. Damn! I should have done this first thing. The email from Gaines got filtered directly into his junk mail and deleted automatically. He never even opened it."

"Then how the hell did it get into the sys-" Jack stops mid-sentence. His mouth remains slightly open, and his eyes widen abruptly. He looks as if he's been hit on the head by something heavy.

Tosh's rapid typing and clicking stops abruptly. "What is going on here?" she exclaims.

"What is it?" Gwen asks.

"I found how the virus infiltrated the system," Tosh says. "Ianto's email account has been tampered with. All his mail is automatically duplicated and sent directly into the internal system. Specifically, into server five."

"Only Jack has access to that server," Owen says, bemused.

There's a short silence as everyone absorbs this. Jack pinches the bridge of his nose, deliberately not looking at any of them.

"My God, Jack," Gwen says, finally. "You've been spying on him?" she sounds aghast.

"It's not like that…" Jack takes a deep breath and turns back to Tosh. "And I set everything to go through the security filter."

Tosh glares at him. "That filter isn't foolproof, Jack. You know that! Especially if someone designed this virus specifically to infiltrate Torchwood systems."

Jack winces, various curses in several different languages going through his head. "Look, this isn't what it looks like…" He slowly turns to face Ianto, who has remained still and silent throughout their conversation. "Ianto…" he pleads.

When he speaks, Ianto's voice is frighteningly cold. "Your level of trust in me is truly astounding," he says. "Tell me, Jack, was fucking me another way of keeping tabs on me, or was it just an added bonus?"

Jack takes a step towards him. "I didn't…" The movement of Ianto's hand is so sudden, that no one notices it until Jack's forgotten coffee mug flies inches from Jack's face and shatters on the wall behind him. Everyone jumps.

"Fuck you, Jack," Ianto says levelly, then turns around and walks out of the hub.

There's a shocked, uncomfortable silence, broken finally by Owen. "Nice going, Jack," he says sarcastically, but clams up when both Gwen and Tosh send him murderous looks.

Jack's face hardens as he turns to face them. He clears his throat. "Gear up. Go get me Norman Gaines. Doesn't have to be in one piece, as long as he can answer questions." They nod stiffly and start packing up. Jack goes into his office without another word.

Chapter 2